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In developing countries, children in rural communities have less access to education. Some people believe that the problem can be solved by providing more schools and teachers, while others think that the problem can be solved by providing computers and Internet access. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

In developing countries, children in rural communities have less access to education. Some people believe that the problem can be solved by providing more schools and teachers, while others think that the problem can be solved by providing computers and Internet access. v. 1
Education for rural children has been of concern to the government in developing countries. The question of what to supply for the underprivileged, therefore, has been open to fierce debate. In this essay, while schools and teachers are indispensable, I will show that providing computers and Internet connection will act as a complementary factor. When it comes to limited access to education, it is of utmost importance to make schools and teachers available in countryside areas. The more schools are constructed, the more likely it is to guarantee children formal learning programs. This ensures that the disadvantaged youth are equipped with basic knowledge and soft skills, followed by potential job opportunities in the future. Moreover, the increased ratio of tutors to students means that individual students are receiving more meticulous care and that the learning productivity is to be improved to a significant extent. On the other hand, the teachers and infrastructures alone may not guarantee maximized assistance that is provided for children. For example, in mountainous regions, the challenge is that educators are hindered in updating educational material sources. The outdated lessons per se produce no benefits in learning as it hardly allows learners to adapt to the ever-changing world. This is the reason why the support of computers and Internet is highly recommended. Solely computers and Internet access maybe of no beneficial use for countryside teenagers, however, with the assistance of teachers, the studying quality will be on the increase. By financing Internet-connected computers, the government leaders are granting rural children a golden access to a fertile source of frequently updated teaching material, which facilitates the young’s learning process as a result. In conclusion, both of the mentioned viewpoints are reasonable. With a view to boosting education quality, the government in developing countries are advised to support rural areas with more well-qualified schools and teachers. However, the results can be augmented provided that Internet and technological equipment are supplemented.
Education for rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
has been of concern to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
. The question of what to supply for the underprivileged,
therefore
, has been open to fierce debate. In this essay, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are indispensable, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that providing computers and Internet connection will act as a complementary factor.

When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to limited access to education, it is of utmost importance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
available in countryside areas. The more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are constructed
, the more likely it is to guarantee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
programs. This ensures that the disadvantaged youth
are equipped
with basic knowledge and soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, followed by potential job opportunities in the future.
Moreover
, the increased ratio of tutors to students means that individual students are receiving more meticulous care and that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
productivity is to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
to a significant extent.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and infrastructures alone may not guarantee maximized assistance that
is provided
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
For example
, in mountainous regions, the challenge is that educators
are hindered
in updating educational material sources. The outdated lessons per se produce no benefits in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
as it hardly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
learners to adapt to the ever-changing world. This is the reason why the support of computers and Internet is
highly
recommended.

Solely
computers and Internet access maybe of no beneficial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for countryside
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
,
however
, with the assistance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
, the studying quality will be on the increase. By financing Internet-connected computers, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
leaders are granting rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "golden access".
a golden access
to a fertile source of
frequently
updated teaching material, which facilitates the young’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
process
as a result
.

In conclusion
, both of the mentioned viewpoints are reasonable. With a view to boosting education quality, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
are advised
to support rural areas with more well-qualified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
.
However
, the results can
be augmented
provided that Internet and technological equipment
are supplemented
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay In developing countries, children in rural communities have less access to education. Some people believe that the problem can be solved by providing more schools and teachers, while others think that the problem can be solved by providing computers and Internet access. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
321 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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