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Some people think any form of experimentation on animals for any reason is wrong. They believe all such experiments should be banned. Others think the benefits research offers us in terms of medical advances make experiments on animals worthwhile. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words v.2

Some people think any form of experimentation on animals for any reason is wrong. They believe all such experiments should be banned. Others think the benefits research offers us in terms of medical advances make experiments on animals worthwhile. v. 2
Abusing animals for any scientific advances is harming their holistic development and is considered to be unethical. A few individuals opine that performing any kind of practical on these speechless creatures is incorrect and should be opposed while others believe that it is justified to do experiments on them. However, I support the former view and this essay shall shed light on both perspectives with relevant examples. On the one hand, the testing on these animals is considered to be a the bane of the society and human intervention. As these approaches does not deface the human being, and many researchers are becoming successful on them. In other words, individuals are minting money by using the animals as their testing agents and many companies have reached the acme of the carrier. On the other hand, the fauna are getting disturbed and some of the species are on the verge of extinction due to such testing strategies. Harming animals is not the solution for upgrading our technology and excelling in the field of medical sciences such as the invention of antidote for corona virus, which has caused pandemic worldwide or whether it may be producing any drugs for infertility. In my opinion, these testing approaches should be banned completely and the same can be done on a computer system, as there is so much advancement in technical fields, due to enriched programming abilities and various highly equipped machines. Experiments on machines will not harm any living organism and there will not be any ecological disturbances. Moreover, the ethical rules of the nature won't harm and the fauna will get the chance to rejuvenate itself, and beauty of the mother earth will be persistent for upcoming generations. Evidently, if such technological methods will be implemented more than it will be advantageous for all the concerned. To conclude, I firmly agree that, testing on animals should be put off completely, so that it will not harm the society as a whole.
Abusing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for any scientific advances is harming their holistic development and
is considered
to be unethical. A few individuals opine that performing any kind of practical on these speechless creatures is incorrect and should
be opposed
while others believe that it
is justified
to do experiments on them.
However
, I support the former view and this essay shall shed light on both perspectives with relevant examples.

On the one hand, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
testing
on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is considered
to be
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "a" or "the" is left.
a the
bane of the society and human intervention. As these approaches does not deface the human being, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
researchers are becoming successful on them.
In other words
, individuals are minting money by using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
as their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
testing
agents and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
have reached the acme of the carrier.

On the other hand
, the fauna are getting disturbed and
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
species are on the verge of extinction due to such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
testing
strategies. Harming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is not the solution for upgrading our technology and excelling in the field of medical sciences such as the invention of antidote for
The term "coronavirus" (= disease) is spelled as one word.
corona virus
, which has caused pandemic worldwide or whether it may be producing any drugs for infertility.

In my opinion, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
testing
approaches should
be banned
completely and the same can
be done
on

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
a
computer system, as there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much advancement in technical fields, due to enriched programming abilities and various
highly
equipped machines. Experiments on machines will not harm any living organism and there will not be any ecological disturbances.
Moreover
, the ethical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
of the nature won't harm and the fauna will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the chance to rejuvenate itself, and beauty of the mother earth will be persistent for upcoming generations.
Evidently
, if such technological methods will
be implemented
more than it will be advantageous for all the concerned.

To conclude
, I
firmly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
testing
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should
be put
off completely,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it will not harm the society as a whole.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think any form of experimentation on animals for any reason is wrong. They believe all such experiments should be banned. Others think the benefits research offers us in terms of medical advances make experiments on animals worthwhile. v. 2

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
328 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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