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In many countries there is a problem with declining quality of air and water from both industry and construction. What measures could be taken to prevent this? v.1

In many countries there is a problem with declining quality of air and water from both industry and construction. What measures could be taken to prevent this? v. 1
The air and water pollution are one of the biggest issues faced by the mankind. The industries emit a huge amount of waste products into the environment while construction of houses and other developments take up a lot of wood. This makes construction and other industries, the biggest contributors to environmental pollution. There are a number of solutions that can help alleviate the pollution menace. The industries are considered the biggest contributors to air pollution. Factories produce hazardous gases including carbon monoxide which are released in the air through their chimneys. These gases are extremely injurious to human health and are also responsible for the depletion of the ozone layer. Moreover, a lot of deforestation takes place for the construction of houses and other developments. Trees consume carbon dioxide from the air besides releasing oxygen, a process which is sabotaged by deforestation. There are a number of steps that can be taken to mitigate pollution. Firstly, legislations should be passed to ensure that the factories adhere to safe waste disposal methods. According to survey, a number of industries get away with unsafe disposal methods because of the lack of rules and regulations. Therefore, the governments should pass laws which ensure that the factories follow safe disposal methods. Secondly, the usage of wood in the construction of buildings should be shunned. The people should make use of other alternatives such as fiber and concrete for the construction of houses so that deforestation is reduced. In conclusion, there are a number of environmental problems caused by the industries and construction. The people and governments should come together for proper legislation and steps to resolve these issues.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
and water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
are one of the biggest issues faced by the mankind. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
emit a huge amount of waste products into the environment while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
construction
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
developments take up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
wood. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
construction
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
, the biggest contributors to environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
. There are a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of solutions that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
alleviate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
menace.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
are considered
the biggest contributors to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
. Factories produce hazardous gases including carbon monoxide which
are released
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
through their chimneys. These gases are
extremely
injurious to human health and are
also
responsible for the depletion of the ozone layer.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
deforestation takes place for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
construction
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
developments. Trees consume carbon dioxide from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
besides
releasing oxygen, a process which
is sabotaged
by deforestation.

There are a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of steps that can
be taken
to mitigate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
.
Firstly
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
legislations
should
be passed
to ensure that the factories adhere to safe waste disposal methods. According to survey, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
away with unsafe disposal methods
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the lack of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations.
Therefore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should pass laws which ensure that the factories follow safe disposal methods.
Secondly
, the usage of wood in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
construction
of buildings should
be shunned
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
alternatives such as fiber and concrete for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
construction
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that deforestation is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
.

In conclusion
, there are a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of environmental problems caused by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
construction
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
together for proper legislation and steps to resolve these issues.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries there is a problem with declining quality of air and water from both industry and construction. What measures could be taken to prevent this? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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