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In many countries the tradition of families having meals together is disappearing. Why is this happen? What will be the effects of it to the family and to the society? v.1

In many countries the tradition of families having meals together is disappearing. Why is this happen? What will be the effects of it to the family and to the society? v. 1
Decades ago families were having meals together was a common practise. At present, the situation is changed due to various factors such as: enormous times spend on the internet or mobile applications; people follow different working hours and parents are fostering their children on the importance of it. Because of this trend both family and society are getting affects disastrously. In the following passage, the factors influencing this change as well as the negative impacts will be explained briefly. Nowadays, many youngsters spend huge time in browsing internet and actively involving in social media websites. Because of this, they tend to have meals at their convenient time. For instance, my neighbour’s family have meals at different time due to their own leisure activities. Hence, the bonding between the family members was slowly disappeared. In addition, people work in the different time zone adds to this cause too. More over, parents are not educating their kids on the traditional value by having meals together. Therefore, above are the various reasons which catalyse to this change. There are many negative consequences because of this trend as well. Primarily the bonding between the family members has lost. For example, my friend spent less time to interact with his parents, because of this, when he faces tough situations, he was provoked to commit suicide, such situations can be avoided by having healthy relation with family members. Further more, this trend will also have an impact on the society, where the harmony between the local people will be affected due to less interaction. Hence, the above factors are becoming big threat to the nation. To conclude, it is the responsibility of parents to groom their youngsters on the importance of having meals together, which will create a good relationship among family members and this will create better human beings for the society.
Decades ago
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
together was a common
Possible spelling mistake. 'practise' is British English.
practise
. At present, the situation is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
due to various factors such as: enormous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
spend on the internet or mobile applications;
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
follow
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
working hours and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are fostering their children on the importance of it.
Because of this
trend both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and society are getting affects
disastrously
. In the following passage, the factors influencing this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
as well
as the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
briefly
.

Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
youngsters spend huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in browsing internet and
actively
involving in social media websites.
Because of this
, they tend to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
at their convenient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
For instance
, my
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbour' is British English.
neighbour
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
due to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
leisure activities.
Hence
, the bonding between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
was
slowly
disappeared.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
work in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
zone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
to this cause too. More over,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are not educating their kids on the traditional value by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
together.
Therefore
, above are the various reasons which
Possible spelling mistake. 'catalyse' is British English.
catalyse
to this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences
because of this
trend
as well
.
Primarily
the bonding between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
has lost.
For example
, my friend spent less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to interact with his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
,
because of this
, when he faces tough situations, he
was provoked
to commit suicide, such situations can
be avoided
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
healthy relation with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
.
Further
more, this trend will
also
have an impact on the society, where the harmony between the local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
due to less interaction.
Hence
, the above factors are becoming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
threat to the nation.

To conclude
, it is the responsibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to groom their youngsters on the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
together, which will create a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relationship among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
and this will create better human beings for the society.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
The conquest of learning is achieved through the knowledge of languages.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay In many countries the tradition of families having meals together is disappearing. Why is this happen? What will be the effects of it to the family and to the society? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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