Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In many countries the proportion of old people is steadily increasing. Some think this good, while other believe this a problem for a country. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.3

In many countries the proportion of old people is steadily increasing. Some think this good, while other believe this a problem for a country. v. 3
In many countries, the number of people who became overweight has increased and their health condition and fitness level are declining. This essay will discuss some of the reasons why these problems have arisen and some of the steps that can be taken to address them. For a number of reasons, the average body weight of people in several countries is rising these days, and they have problems with the physical condition as well. Firstly, a lot of people prefer to consume in fast food outlets nowadays. It is undeniable that most of the fast food restaurants serve foods that contain fat and sugar, and as a result, those who frequently consume the food get overweight. Secondly, it is a fact business competition is getting tougher due to the globalisation, and people have to work for longer hours. They have to wake up very early in the morning to go to their workplace and arrive home late at night; therefore they have no time in doing some exercises. Consequently, many of these people have some serious health problems, such as obesity and diabetes. There are several things that people can do to resolve the problems. One of them is that people should be more selective in choosing their diets. People should avoid in consuming fast food since they contain a lot of high cholesterol ingredients which are dangerous for their health. They should consume more of the healthier ingredients such as wheat, oat, vegetable or fruit rather than consuming fried chicken or hamburger. The other thing is that people should do more physical exercises and burn more calories in their life. One of the ways is by changing their mode of transportations. For example, they could change the way they commute from driving a car to riding a bicycle. It is not just making the body healthier, but bike riding also reduces air pollution as well. In conclusion, it is true that many people are having problems with body weight and health conditions these days. The problems are mostly caused by the unhealthy lifestyles and there are several things that people could do to fix the problems. They should be more selective in choosing their diets and they should have more exercises in their life.
In
many
countries, the number of
people
who became overweight has increased and their
health
condition and fitness level are declining. This essay will discuss
some of the
reasons why these
problems
have arisen and
some of the
steps that can
be taken
to address them.

For a number of reasons, the average body weight of
people
in several countries is rising these days, and they have
problems
with the physical condition
as well
.
Firstly
,
a lot of
people
prefer to consume in
fast
food
outlets nowadays. It is undeniable that most of the
fast
food
restaurants serve
foods
that contain
fat
and sugar, and
as a result
, those who
frequently
consume the
food
get
overweight.
Secondly
, it is a fact business competition is getting tougher due to the
globalisation
, and
people
have to
work for longer hours. They
have to
wake up
very
early in the morning to go to their workplace and arrive home late at night;
therefore
they have no time in doing
some
exercises.
Consequently
,
many
of these
people
have
some
serious
health
problems
, such as obesity and diabetes.

There are several things that
people
can do to resolve the
problems
. One of them is that
people
should be more selective in choosing their diets.
People
should avoid in consuming
fast
food
since they contain
a lot of
high cholesterol ingredients which are
dangerous
for their
health
. They should consume more of the healthier ingredients such as wheat, oat, vegetable or fruit
rather
than consuming fried chicken or hamburger. The other thing is that
people
should do more physical exercises and burn more calories in their life. One of the ways is by changing their mode of transportations.
For example
, they could
change
the way they commute from driving a car to riding a bicycle. It is not
just
making the body healthier,
but
bike riding
also
reduces
air pollution
as well
.

In conclusion
, it is true that
many
people
are having
problems
with body weight and
health
conditions these days. The
problems
are
mostly
caused by the unhealthy lifestyles and there are several things that
people
could do to
fix
the
problems
. They should be more selective in choosing their
diets and
they should have more exercises in their life.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries the proportion of old people is steadily increasing. Some think this good, while other believe this a problem for a country. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
375 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts