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TOEFL Official Guide - Speaking 3 - Question 2 - Some students prefer to work on class asignments by themselves. Others believe it is beter to work in a group. Which do you prefer? v.1

TOEFL Official Guide - Speaking 3 - Question 2 - Some students prefer to work on class asignments by themselves. Others believe it is beter to work in a group. Which do you prefer? v. 1
Some assert that parents must motivate their children to be a part of the organised extra-curricular activities in their leisure time while others argue that they should be set free to decide what they want to pursue. In my view, being a part of the extra-curricular activities help children to learn and grow in the right direction without having any fear of getting distracted. To begin with, organised group activities allow children to interact with people in their immediate vicinity. They learn the socialising aspect of life where they make new friends and indulge into activities like drawing contests, best out of waste competitions, mind bending puzzles and so on. With the help of these activities they learn how to take on competition, work under pressure and to work in a team. They also get familiar with different cultures and religions. For instance, numerous families living in a cooperative society hailing from different backgrounds could come together to organize events and competitions in the society itself. Their children could take part in these events and socialise and develop understanding and respect for one another. Thus, group activities which are organised effectively facilitate healthy socialising. Secondly, it is very crucial to let the child decide for himself what needs to be done in a free space of time. This inculcates a sense of responsibility in them. They also learn to take on new challenges. However, there might be a possibility that they are not able to choose the right path in their life. With so much of advancement in technology and with all means available they may start socialising on the internet and playing video games which could detach them from their immediate social circle. To illustrate, a child could get fond of a virtual social circle over the internet and completely forget about the people whom he knows for real and have met in person. Thus, children could be given the freedom of thought, but adult supervision is necessary to keep a check that they do not take the wrong path. Conclusively, having considered both the views, I think group activities are much more beneficial for children where they stay in touch with reality of life instead socialising virtually where you never know who is on the other side.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
assert that parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
motivate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to be a part of the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
extra-curricular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
in their leisure time while others argue that they should
be set
free to decide what they want to pursue. In my view, being a part of the extra-curricular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
and grow in the right direction without having any fear of getting distracted.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to interact with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in their immediate vicinity. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
the
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialising' is British English.
socialising
aspect of life where they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new friends and indulge into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
like drawing contests, best out of waste competitions, mind bending puzzles and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. With the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
how to take on competition, work under pressure and to work in a team. They
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
familiar with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures and religions.
For instance
, numerous families living in a cooperative society hailing from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
backgrounds could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
together to
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organize' and 'organise') within a single text.
organize
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and competitions in the society itself. Their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialise' is British English.
socialise
and develop understanding and respect for one another.
Thus
, group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
which are
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
effectively
facilitate healthy
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialising' is British English.
socialising
.

Secondly
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
the child decide for himself what needs to
be done
in a free space of time. This inculcates a sense of responsibility in them. They
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
to take on new challenges.
However
, there might be a possibility that they are not able to choose the right path in their life. With
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much of advancement in technology and with all means available they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialising' is British English.
socialising
on the internet and playing video games which could detach them from their immediate social circle. To illustrate, a child could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
fond of a virtual social circle over the internet and completely forget about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
whom he knows for real and have met in person.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the freedom of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
adult supervision is necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
that they do not take the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
path.

Conclusively
, having considered both the views, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are much more beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
where they stay in touch with reality of life
instead
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialising' is British English.
socialising
virtually
where you never know who is on the other side.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay TOEFL Official Guide - Speaking 3 - Question 2 - Some students prefer to work on class asignments by themselves. Others believe it is beter to work in a group. Which do you prefer? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
379 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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