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In many countries the level of crime is increasing and crimes are becoming more violent. Why do you think this is and what can be done about this? v.4

In many countries the level of crime is increasing and crimes are becoming more violent. Why do you think this is and what can be done about this? v. 4
Criminal activities is growing in many nations around the world, which is more ferocious than ever before. In my opinion, one of the main reasons behind this is unemployment; however, this crucial problem can be solved by initiating employments for them by the governments. Lack of employment opportunities, promotes many citizens to involve in offences and become rude. It has been observed that, there are serious scarcity of employment opportunities in many communities because of the political instability, longevity and over population. As a result, people commit mischief in exchange of money to earn their livelihood. Consequently, these evildoers become reckless not only to earn more, but also to survive in the world of crime. For instance, according to a recent survey conducted by Interpol revealed that more than 30% of the criminals are associated with offences because of having no specific income source. Inaugurating occupation related projects by the government can mitigate this issue. The nations' authorities could introduce practical training and job placement activities, so that they can make people to work. If these tasks are continued, it is highly likely that individuals will become stable in their life, which will deter them to engage and commit crime. For example, skill based programs, are already commenced in many countries, which is drastically reduced the number of young offenders, as a great number of them are employed by this program. In conclusion, although the major cause of the frequent violent in many countries is the insufficient number of vacancies, this situation can be ameliorated by taking a national program about ensuring occupation. Nevertheless, as long as a government is strict about creating new posts, people will less associated with wrongdoings.
Criminal activities is growing in
many
nations around the world, which is more ferocious than ever
before
. In my opinion, one of the main reasons behind this is unemployment;
however
, this crucial problem can
be solved
by initiating employments for them by the
governments
.

Lack of employment opportunities, promotes
many
citizens to involve in
offences
and become rude. It has
been observed
that, there are serious scarcity of employment opportunities in
many
communities
because
of the political instability, longevity and over population.
As a result
,
people
commit mischief
in exchange of
money to earn their livelihood.
Consequently
, these evildoers become reckless not
only
to earn more,
but
also
to survive in the world of crime.
For instance
, according to a recent survey conducted by Interpol revealed that more than 30% of the criminals
are associated
with
offences
because
of having no specific income source.

Inaugurating occupation related projects by the
government
can mitigate this issue. The nations' authorities could introduce practical training and job placement activities,
so
that they can
make
people
to work. If these tasks
are continued
, it is
highly
likely that individuals will become stable in their life, which will deter them to engage and commit crime.
For example
,
skill
based programs, are already commenced in
many
countries, which is
drastically
reduced
the number of young offenders, as a great number of them
are employed
by this program.

In conclusion
, although the major cause of the frequent violent in
many
countries is the insufficient number of vacancies, this situation can
be ameliorated
by taking a national program about ensuring occupation.
Nevertheless
, as long as a
government
is strict about creating new posts,
people
will less associated with wrongdoings.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay In many countries the level of crime is increasing and crimes are becoming more violent. Why do you think this is and what can be done about this? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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