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in many countries the level of crime is increasing and crimes are becoming more violent why do you think this is and what can be done about it v.1

in many countries the level of crime is increasing and crimes are becoming more violent why do you think this is and what can be done about it v. 1
Currently, in many countries the crime rates are climbing; besides, the criminal actions are altered to the more violence one. There are a variety of reasons for this, but steps can be taken to tackle the problem. In my opinion, three main factors are related to the increase in crime levels in many areas in the world. Firstly, the devastating impacts of social media are inevitable. For example, all the years, lots of horror and action movies has released that can have a negative influence on people especially youngsters. They can learn severe crimes from these genres of films that can make them offenders in the future. Secondly, some computer games have a violence atmosphere with a direct effect on children' s behavior. Finally, and the most important one, can be mentioned as improvement in devices that are used in criminal acts such as sophisticated weapons. However, there are various other measures that could be implemented that would have a huge effect on the problem, government monitoring on film industries to produce less violent films and series can illustrate it. Furthermore, parents and schools can try to fill adolescents' free time with beneficial activities including gym, learning foreign languages, and even doing some voluntary works for the community to prevent them from such computer games. On the other hand, countries' authority should restrict the use of weapons freely and try to rise their supervising on such violent devices. In conclusion, although there are many reasons that increase the number of violent offenses, some solutions can be used to decrease it.
Currently
, in
many
countries the crime rates are climbing;
besides
, the criminal actions
are altered
to the more violence one. There are a variety of reasons for this,
but
steps can
be taken
to tackle the problem.

In my opinion, three main factors
are related
to the increase in crime levels in
many
areas in the world.
Firstly
, the devastating impacts of social media are inevitable.
For example
, all the years, lots of horror and action movies has released that can have a
negative
influence on
people
especially
youngsters. They can learn severe crimes from these genres of films that can
make
them offenders in the future.
Secondly
,
some
computer games have a violence atmosphere with a direct effect on
children&
#039; s behavior.
Finally
, and the most
important
one, can
be mentioned
as improvement in devices that are
used
in criminal acts such as sophisticated weapons.

However
, there are various other measures that could
be implemented
that would have a huge effect on the problem,
government
monitoring on film industries to produce less violent films and series can illustrate it.
Furthermore
, parents and schools can try to fill
adolescents&
#039; free time with beneficial activities including gym, learning foreign languages, and even doing
some
voluntary works for the community to
prevent
them from such computer games.
On the other hand
,
countries&
#039; authority should restrict the
use
of weapons
freely
and try to rise their supervising on such violent devices.

In conclusion
, although there are
many
reasons that increase the number of violent offenses,
some
solutions can be
used
to decrease it.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay in many countries the level of crime is increasing and crimes are becoming more violent why do you think this is and what can be done about it v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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