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The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.27

The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. with this statement? v. 27
It is generally considered that the life expectancy of citizens may be decreased in the future as compared to present. I completely agree with this fact because of a sedentary lifestyle. This essay shall discuss the views with relevant examples of this situation in subsequent paragraphs. To commence with, the first and foremost reason is inactive living standard. Moreover, due to long working hours in the office leads to the insomnia as well as depression. For instance, most of the youngsters work for late hours to earn the extra money. However, this approach is usually affects the healths. In addition, due to shortage of time, they do not get enough minutes to join a gym or any sport. An individual can overcome this problem by walking instead of using vehicles as well as using stairs instead of the lift. On the other hand, consuming fast food is also a major issue. Furthermore, teenagers are more interested in these types of items. In spite of having a healthy diet, peoples are using processed food. However, such kind of items usually cause many health problems such as obesity, heart stroke and so on. For example, US health agency shows the data that 70% children are suffering from heart problem due to unhealthy food. This situation may be overcome by doing physical activities. In conclusion, sedentary lifestyle as well as unhealthy diet is a major issue which should be minimised by doing exercises or any physical activity. This approach is necessary to maintain a good living standard.
It is
generally
considered that the life expectancy of citizens may
be decreased
in the future as compared to present. I completely
agree
with this fact
because
of a sedentary lifestyle. This essay shall discuss the views with relevant examples of this situation in subsequent paragraphs.

To commence with, the
first
and foremost reason is inactive living standard.
Moreover
, due to long working hours in the office leads to the insomnia
as well
as depression.
For instance
, most of the youngsters work for late hours to earn the extra money.
However
, this approach is
usually
affects the
healths
.
In addition
, due to shortage of time, they do not
get
enough
minutes to
join
a gym or any sport. An individual can overcome this problem by walking
instead
of using vehicles
as well
as using stairs
instead
of the lift.

On the other hand
, consuming
fast
food is
also
a major issue.
Furthermore
,
teenagers
are more interested in these types of items.
In spite of
having a healthy diet, peoples are using processed food.
However
, such kind of items
usually
cause
many
health problems such as obesity, heart stroke and
so
on.
For example
, US health agency
shows
the data that 70% children are suffering from heart problem due to unhealthy food. This situation may
be overcome
by doing physical activities.

In conclusion
, sedentary lifestyle
as well
as unhealthy diet is a major issue which should be
minimised
by doing exercises or any physical activity. This approach is necessary to maintain a
good
living standard.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. with this statement? v. 27

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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