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In many countries, the government likes to spend more money on the arts. Some people agree with this. However, others think government should spend more on health and education. v. 1

Whereas some argue that it is right that the government spends a lot of money on the arts, others claim that the government should invest more on health and education. In my opinion, although arts are relevant for society, spending on health and educations is more important. First of all, the arts are relevant for a country, since they can bring awareness about society's issues. Thus, it is part of a government duty investing in music and video production among other types of arts. For example, an inequality of opportunities for people coming from suburban areas can be expressed by the music produced by authors which are living in that region. Consequently, the government investing on several kinds of arts is a way of allowing people to express their reality. On the other hand, health and education are essential blocks for a country's wealth. Hence, both a good health care system and high quality education need to be a priority for government spending. For instance, it is preferable investing in hospitals, schools, and universities instead of investing on other topics, such as either music or video production. Therefore, since health and education are fundamental for a society they need to come first when talking about public investments. In conclusion, even though the arts are important for expressing different society's realities, a proper medical care system and quality education are core necessities for a country. Then, I believe that the government should invest more on health and education than on the arts.

IELTS essay In many countries, the government likes to spend more money on the arts. Some people agree with this. However, others think government should spend more on health and education. Discuss both sides and giver your opinion. v.1

Whereas
some
argue that it is right that the
government
spends
a lot of
money on the
arts
, others claim that the
government
should invest more on
health
and
education
. In my opinion, although
arts
are relevant for society, spending on
health
and
educations
is more
important
.
First of all
, the
arts
are relevant for a country, since they can bring awareness about society's issues.
Thus
, it is part of a
government
duty
investing
in music and video production among
other
types of
arts
.
For example
, an inequality of opportunities for
people
coming from suburban areas can
be expressed
by the music produced by authors which are living in that region.
Consequently
, the
government
investing
on several kinds of
arts
is a way of allowing
people
to express their reality. On the
other
hand,
health
and
education
are essential blocks for a country's wealth.
Hence
, both a
good
health
care system and high quality
education
need to be a priority for
government
spending.
For instance
, it is preferable
investing
in hospitals, schools, and universities
instead
of
investing
on
other
topics, such as either music or video production.
Therefore
, since
health
and
education
are fundamental for a society they need to
come
first
when talking about public investments.
In conclusion
,
even though
the
arts
are
important
for expressing
different
society's realities, a proper medical care system and quality
education
are core necessities for a country. Then, I believe that the
government
should invest more on
health
and
education
than on the
arts
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Essay
4 paragraphs
251 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resources: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Band score ≥ 7
  • Band score ≤ 6
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