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Which of the following choices do you think has the greatest impact on environmental protection? (1) Governmental regulations (2) Environmental awareness groups (3) Individual effort. v.1

Which of the following choices do you think has the greatest impact on environmental protection? (1) Governmental regulations (2) Environmental awareness groups (3) Individual effort. v. 1
In the education sector, different schools have different rules which students should conform to. While certain institutions make school uniforms and appearance of students mandatory, others allow some flexibility on students' dressing. In this essay, merits and demerits of wearing uniforms at school will be discussed before coming down to a conclusion. Discussing the advantages, uniforms allow uniformity at school. To elaborate, students of a particular school are easily recognized by the way they dress, thus allowing easy identification due to uniformity. For example, primary school A can be easily differentiated form primary school B if they put on uniforms. Furthermore, learners tend to behave in a more dignified manner if they are in uniforms. This is because they would want to maintain the good reputation of the school, hence they behave more appropriately. For example, if they are not allowed to put on make up and other accessories. Moving on to disadvantages, uniforms might be costly to parents, not to mention the fact that they may decrease an individual's self-esteem. To clarify, parents might have an additional cost of buying uniforms for their children as compared to those who wear other clothes at school. In addition, confidence for children might be significantly reduced because they might not feel very comfortable and confident to express themselves in uniform. For instance, during a school debate, a student in uniform is more likely to score less than a student in casual clothes. In conclusion, school uniforms modifies learners' behaviour as well as promoting uniformity. However, this rigidity affects students' confidence negatively and may add some extra cost to parents.
In the education sector,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should conform to. While certain institutions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
and appearance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
mandatory, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
flexibility on students' dressing. In this essay, merits and demerits of wearing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
will
be discussed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
coming down to a conclusion.

Discussing the advantages,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
uniformity at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. To elaborate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
of a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
are
easily
recognized by the way they dress,
thus
allowing easy identification due to uniformity.
For example
, primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
A can be
easily
differentiated form primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
B if they put on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
.
Furthermore
, learners tend to behave in a more dignified manner if they are in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they would want to maintain the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reputation of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
hence
they behave more
appropriately
.
For example
, if they are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to put on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
up and other accessories.

Moving on to disadvantages,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be costly to parents, not to mention the fact that they may decrease an individual's self-esteem. To clarify, parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
have an additional cost of buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
for their children as compared to those who wear other clothes at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
In addition
, confidence for children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
not feel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
comfortable and confident to express themselves in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
.
For instance
, during a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
debate, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
is more likely to score less than a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
in casual clothes.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
modifies learners'
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
as well
as promoting uniformity.
However
, this rigidity affects students' confidence
negatively
and may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extra cost to parents.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Which of the following choices do you think has the greatest impact on environmental protection? (1) Governmental regulations (2) Environmental awareness groups (3) Individual effort. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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