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In many Countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of Crime? How can we deal with those causes? v. 23

Criminals are a menace to our society and it is a matter of concern that the crime rate has increased dramatically in many countries. In this essay, I will discuss the reasons behind the crimes and propose some solutions to combat the problem. First of all, the main reason behind the prevalence of crime is poverty as most of the people in developing countries are daily wagers, and they have to struggle for their bread. Out of hunger, some people start doing petty thefts at shops and cars, and by the time some of them become gangsters. A study conducted by a University in Denmark revealed that the children growing up in poverty are seven times more likely to be involved in violent crimes as young adults. Another cause is the over-ambitious nature of some individuals. These individuals keep an eye on other's wealth, and sometimes they become so desperate that start blackmailing rich people, and even kidnap their closed ones for ransom. To tackle this problem, the first and foremost step is strict law and order. In other words, the government should impose strict rules and regulations because incorruptible law enforcement authorities could perform the task of converting a criminal zone into safer region. For example, the US has a crime-rate of only 2% as compared to Somalia, whose crime-rate is 50% due to strict implementation of rules by the former. Secondly, the authorities should expand employment opportunities for the poor so that every individual could at least earn their living and live their life in a better way. In this way, the poor would not be compelled to do misdeeds to fulfil their minimum necessities. In conclusion, although the problem of crime is not insurmountable, it is the government's responsibility to solve these issues. I believe that regular policing of the danger zones and increased job opportunities for the deprived sections of the society are some of the solutions which should be considered to overcome them.

IELTS essay In many Countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of Crime? How can we deal with those causes? v.23

Criminals are a menace to our society and it is a matter of concern that the
crime
rate has increased
dramatically
in
many
countries. In this essay, I will discuss the reasons behind the
crimes
and propose
some
solutions to combat the problem.
First of all
, the main reason behind the prevalence of
crime
is poverty as most of the
people
in
developing countries
are daily wagers, and they
have to
struggle for their bread. Out of hunger,
some
people
start
doing petty thefts at shops and cars, and by the time
some
of them become gangsters. A study conducted by a University in Denmark revealed that the children growing up in poverty are seven times more likely to
be involved
in violent
crimes
as young adults. Another cause is the over-ambitious nature of
some
individuals. These individuals
keep
an eye on other's wealth, and
sometimes
they become
so
desperate that
start
blackmailing rich
people
, and even kidnap their closed ones for ransom. To tackle this problem, the
first
and foremost step is strict law and order.
In other words
, the
government
should impose strict
rules
and regulations
because
incorruptible law enforcement authorities could perform the task of converting a criminal zone into safer region.
For example
, the US has a crime-rate of
only
2% as compared to Somalia, whose crime-rate is 50% due to strict implementation of
rules
by the former.
Secondly
, the authorities should expand employment opportunities for the poor
so
that every individual could at least earn their living and
live
their life in a better way. In this way, the poor would not
be compelled
to do misdeeds to fulfil their minimum necessities.
In conclusion
, although the problem of
crime
is not insurmountable, it is the
government
's responsibility to solve these issues. I believe that regular policing of the
danger
zones and increased job opportunities for the deprived sections of the society are
some of the
solutions which should
be considered
to overcome them.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Essay
4 paragraphs
328 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resources: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Band score ≥ 7
  • Band score ≤ 6
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