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In many government like to spend more money on the arts Some people agree with this However some think government should spend more on health and education Discuss both side and give your opinion v.2

In many government like to spend more money on the arts Some people agree with this However some think government should spend more on health and education 2
It is argued that government is spending a lot of assist on the arts while opponent says that it should be spend on health and education. In this essay will discuss both sides of the essay. On one hand, art which represent the culture and society of a country in different platforms around the globe. Thus, it can be a source of peace and act as an ambassador indirectly because it will represent the country with the rhyming words. Furthermore, we can’t deny our generation talent nor we can spoil their talents just like, every other fields, art also need attention which prosper a country by attracting people to themselves. For instance, if a singer sings mesmerizingly so, a lot of fans around the world will adore to meet him which will help in the boosting of economy as well as, it will create a good impression on foreigners. In contrast, government is responsible to provide basic needs to their people like education and hospitals. They should build a hospitals which can help to overcome diseases and they should also construct a schools, colleges and universities. Additionally, they should provide free education for poor who cannot afford high fesses and provide them funds for the daily lives. If, an individual has basic needs he will have more opportunities to something for his country. In conclusion, I viewed both the opinions spending money on arts and health and education but health and education is important for a country. I feel that, different public sectors can promote arts so, government should pay much attention on health and education.
It
is argued
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is spending
Possible agreement error. The noun assist seems to be countable; consider using: "a lot of assists".
a lot of assist
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
while opponent says that it should be
Consider using the past participle "spent"?
spend
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. In this essay will discuss both sides of the essay.

On one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
which represent the culture and society of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
platforms around the globe.
Thus
, it can be a source of peace and act as an ambassador
indirectly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will represent the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
with the rhyming words.
Furthermore
, we can’t deny our generation
Use a comma before 'nor' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
talent nor
we can spoil their talents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like, every other fields,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
also
need attention which prosper a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
by attracting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to themselves.
For instance
, if a singer sings
Possible spelling mistake found.
mesmerizingly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
fans around the world will adore to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
him which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in the boosting of economy
as well
as, it will create a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
impression on foreigners.

In contrast
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is responsible to provide basic needs to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and hospitals. They should build
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a hospital" or simply "hospitals"?
a hospitals
which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to overcome
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
diseases and
they should
also
construct
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a school" or simply "schools"?
a schools
, colleges and universities.
Additionally
, they should provide free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for poor who cannot afford high fesses and provide them funds for the daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. If, an individual has basic needs he will have more opportunities to something for his country.

In conclusion
, I viewed both the opinions spending money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. I feel that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
public sectors can promote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should pay much attention on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay In many government like to spend more money on the arts Some people agree with this However some think government should spend more on health and education 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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