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In many countries, the gap between the rich and poor is increasing. The rich people are becoming richer while the poor is growing poorer. v.1

In many countries, the gap between the rich and poor is increasing. The rich people are becoming richer while the poor is growing poorer. v. 1
The widening gap between the rich and the poor seems to be an increasingly bigger threat that the worldwide nations are facing in recent decades. And I think individuals, governments and powerful companies are all responsible for this. One of the primary causes of the accelerated growth of economic inequality is due to modern technological progress. In order to create the largest wealth by costing the least, employers are motivated to increasingly concentrate on non-human factors of production, including super-automation, robotics, digital computerised operations, machines, tools, etc. , which to a large degree reduces the rate of labour employment as well payment. However, considering the fact that technology development will never cease to march forward, it brings about another vital factor - education and qualified working skills. Except for a very small group of lazy people, most in poverty have been working hard so badly, yet ending up with far less payment. Nevertheless, this can be significantly improved by getting them re-educated or trained, which means the government should carry out such constructive policies as increasing the minimum wage and more investment in education and training, to ensure poor group sharing equal opportunities of education and getting hired and paid. Meanwhile, powerful corporations should take responsibilities to reduce poverty, for example, by providing scholarships or creating more job opportunities for those in need. As for individuals, one should seize each opportunity to get themselves armed with modern working skills and keep updated with the latest technology. Anyway, this is now a social issue in general rather than a personal problem. Only with the strength of the whole society with efficient government will we see the chance to reduce the gap.
The widening gap between the rich and the poor seems to be an
increasingly
bigger threat that the worldwide nations are facing in recent decades. And I
think
individuals,
governments
and powerful
companies
are all responsible for this.

One of the primary causes of the accelerated growth of economic inequality is due to modern technological progress. In order to create the largest wealth by costing the least, employers
are motivated
to
increasingly
concentrate on non-human factors of production, including super-automation, robotics, digital
computerised
operations, machines, tools, etc.
,
which to a large degree
reduces
the rate of
labour
employment
as well
payment.

However
, considering the fact that technology development will never cease to march forward, it brings about another vital factor
-
education and qualified working
skills
.
Except for
a
very
small
group of lazy
people
, most in poverty have been working
hard
so
badly
,
yet
ending up with far less payment.

Nevertheless
, this can be
significantly
improved
by getting them re-educated or trained, which means the
government
should carry out such constructive policies as increasing the minimum wage and more investment in education and training, to ensure poor group sharing equal opportunities of education and getting hired and paid. Meanwhile, powerful corporations should take responsibilities to
reduce
poverty,
for example
, by providing scholarships or creating more job opportunities for those in need.

As for individuals, one should seize each opportunity to
get
themselves armed with modern working
skills
and
keep
updated with the latest technology.

Anyway, this is
now
a social issue
in general
rather
than a personal problem.
Only
with the strength of the whole society with efficient
government
will we
see
the chance to
reduce
the gap.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries, the gap between the rich and poor is increasing. The rich people are becoming richer while the poor is growing poorer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
280 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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