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In many countries television shows many foreign -made programmes. The dominance to the imported entertainment is harmful to the culture of these countries. To what extend do you agree or disagree. v.2

The programs telecasted in television that are made abroad, are becoming more and more popular nowadays. This type of entertainment expressing foreign cultures leads to the extinction of local culture. In my opinion, these imported shows have had adverse impacts on culture and this essay will discuss the argument in detail. Firstly, imported programs are enriched with the culture of the country that are created from. As such depiction persuades the viewers to adopt the foreign culture, most of them started to behave in a way that is shown in those shows. For example, change in the dressing sense, especially in modern India, people prefer wearing western clothes to the traditional dresses. Hence, the habit of traditional dressing is slowly vanishing from common usage, primarily due to the attraction from the western shows. Secondly, invasion of foreign programs deter the growth of local shows. With the high-quality production, viewers are interested in watching programs that are imported neglecting their own country productions. This results in the poor development of locally produced shows which are used to enhance native culture. If native programs promoting their own culture were telecasted, people would watch and learn to follow their culture and eventually preserving innate culture. Critics would claim that these invaded programs pave the way to globalization. This might be true to some extent, however, I argue that cultural diversity will be spoilt. For instance, people from various countries would adapt to single cultured living unless this intrusion is restricted in television programs. In conclusion, I believe that imported shows should be given less importance, and by prohibiting the exposure of foreign culture in those particular shows, people will consider them as a purely entertaining object. Thus, one’s culture exploited by foreign originated programs must be controlled.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
telecasted in television that
are made
abroad, are becoming more and more popular nowadays. This type of entertainment expressing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
leads to the extinction of local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. In my opinion, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
have had adverse impacts on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and this essay will discuss the argument in detail.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
are enriched
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
of the country that
are created
from. As such depiction persuades the viewers to adopt the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, most of them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to behave in a way that
is shown
in those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the dressing sense,
especially
in modern India,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer wearing western clothes to the traditional dresses.
Hence
, the habit of traditional dressing is
slowly
vanishing from common usage,
primarily
due to the attraction from the western
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
.

Secondly
, invasion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
deter the growth of local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
. With the high-quality production, viewers
are interested
in watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
that are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imported
neglecting their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
country productions. This results in the poor development of
locally
produced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to enhance native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. If native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
promoting their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
were telecasted
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
and learn to follow their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and
eventually
preserving innate culture.

Critics would claim that these invaded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
pave the way to globalization. This might be true to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent,
however
, I argue that cultural diversity will be
Possible spelling mistake. ‘spoilt’ is British English.
spoilt
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from various countries would adapt to single cultured living unless this intrusion
is restricted
in television programs.

In conclusion
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
less importance, and by prohibiting the exposure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
in those particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will consider them as a
purely
entertaining object.
Thus
, one’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
exploited by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
originated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be controlled
.
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IELTS essay In many countries television shows many foreign-made programmes. The dominance of imported entertainment is harmful to the cultures of these countries.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
294 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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