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Advertising has become an unavoidable part of everyone’s lives. Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our lives while other say it is a negative one. Discuss both views and include your own opinion. v.1

Advertising has become an unavoidable part of everyone’s lives. Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our lives while other say it is a negative one. v. 1
Advertising is one of the most important steps taken by businesses around the world to share and present their products or services and has become an unavoidable part of everyone’s life. It generates millions of dollars daily to our economy and brings joy to many although some people find advertising causing a negative impact on humankind. In this essay I will examine both of these views and will share my thoughts on why I believe that advertising lands more benefits into our livelihoods. To start off, without advertising, people, including myself, simply would not know what is out there and what new upgraded and modernised products have just been released. Advertising provides us with options to choose from which I believe one can a rare argue with. Moreover, not only it makes businesses more competitive with each other, but also help the economy to grow. For instance, recent research suggests that countries spending more on advertising has a better chance of increasing their GDP. As a result, advertising brings positive impacts on both sides, the society itself and the government. However, some people claim that advertising cause unnecessary shopping and ads often lie. They base their thoughts on the fact that it is hard to remain vigilant when people, especially older ones, are being brainwashed on buying a particular product and trusting every advertisement whilst not doing a proper research. Consequently, individuals end up hoarding items to fulfil their needs just to buy and become dependable on it. No wonder we have a new word in our dictionary - Shopaholic. To conclude, while I understand that we must carefully consider before buying products we see advertised, there are remarkable benefits of advertising, few of them being given opportunities to choose and compare, but also helping our economy to grow.
Advertising is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
steps taken by businesses around the world to share and present their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
or services and has become an unavoidable part of everyone’s life. It generates millions of dollars daily to our economy and brings joy to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find advertising causing a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on humankind. In this essay I will examine both of these views and will share my thoughts on why I believe that advertising lands more benefits into our livelihoods.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
off, without advertising,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, including myself,
simply
would not know what is out there and what new upgraded and
Possible spelling mistake. 'modernised' is British English.
modernised
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
been released
. Advertising provides us with options to choose from which I believe one can a rare argue with.
Moreover
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
businesses more competitive with each other,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the economy to grow.
For instance
, recent research suggests that countries spending more on advertising has a better chance of increasing their GDP.
As a result
, advertising brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts on both sides, the society itself and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that advertising cause unnecessary shopping and ads
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
lie. They base their thoughts on the fact that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to remain vigilant when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
older ones, are
being brainwashed
on buying a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
and trusting every advertisement whilst not doing a proper research.
Consequently
, individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up hoarding items to fulfil their needs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
and become dependable on it. No wonder we have a new word in our dictionary
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
Shopaholic.

To conclude
, while I understand that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
carefully
consider
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
advertised, there are remarkable benefits of advertising, few of them being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
opportunities to choose and compare,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
helping our economy to grow.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
The joy of knowing a foreign language is inexpressible. I find it really difficult to express such joy in my mother tongue.
Munia Khan

IELTS essay Advertising has become an unavoidable part of everyone’s lives. Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our lives while other say it is a negative one. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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