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In some countries, students live with their family while studying at a university. In other countries, students attend university in another city. Do you think the advantages of living away from home while attending university outweigh the disadvantages? v.2

In some countries, students live with their family while studying at a university. In other countries, students attend university in another city. Do you think the advantages of living away from home while attending university outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2
In this modern era, it has been witnessed that most of the common people seek to imitate popular celebrities by following them on media sources such as magazines and television. This essay will discuss the factors that encourage ordinary folks to imitate famous people. Personally, I think this is a bad tendency. To begin with, there are several reasons for this craze among people to follow celebrities. One of the main reasons is that people get attracted to the lifestyle of celebrities and also want to achieve the same in their own daily life. For example, recently an Indian guy bought the same luxury car owned by his idol M. S. Dhoni thinking that this would help him grab attention. People also imitate celebrities to look more stylish and to gain more acceptance in the society. For example, celebrity hairstyles are a rage among young people. Although this tread of copying famous personalities is very common, it is not really laudable. Imitating famous people can only bring temporary joy to the common people. On the other hand, a person might gain permanent happiness by exploring his/her own originality rather than copying the style of celebrities. Furthermore, if a person lives his life in his own way, it boosts his confidence which leads to greater success in his life. To sum up, it is irrefutable that most of the people attempt to imitate well known personalities to improve their social status and to appear stylish. However, this trend is not appreciable as common people lose their originality by copying others. Do you have an essay on this topic? Submit it below in the comments for a free band score estimate.
In this modern era, it has
been witnessed
that most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
seek to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imitate
popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
by following them on media sources such as magazines and television. This essay will discuss the factors that encourage ordinary folks to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imitate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
tendency.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are several reasons for this craze among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
. One of the main reasons is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
attracted to the lifestyle of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
and
also
want to achieve the same in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
daily life.
For example
, recently an Indian guy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
the same luxury car
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
by his idol M. S.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Dhoni
thinking that this would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
him grab attention.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imitate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
to look more stylish and to gain more acceptance in the society.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
hairstyles are a rage among young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Although this tread of copying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
personalities is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
common
, it is not
really
laudable. Imitating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
bring temporary joy to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
On the other hand
, a person might gain permanent happiness by exploring his/her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
originality
rather
than copying the style of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
.
Furthermore
, if a person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
his life in his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
way, it boosts his confidence which leads to greater success in his life.

To sum up, it is irrefutable that most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
attempt to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imitate
well known personalities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their social status and to appear stylish.
However
, this trend is not appreciable as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lose their originality by copying others.

Do you have an essay on this topic? Submit it below in the comments for a free band score estimate.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries, students live with their family while studying at a university. In other countries, students attend university in another city. Do you think the advantages of living away from home while attending university outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
279 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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