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Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.20

Unpaid community service is a definition of jobs where people work without earning any money for the sake of society. Nowadays, many people hold to a theory that non-profit organisation services should be a must for high school pragrammes. While there are those who are of the opinion that these kinds of job have negative impact on the children’s learning process. In this essay, the benefits and downsides of this argument will be examined and some opinion will be provided. There are distinct advantages that community service brings to the school children. To begin, it enables them to develop an excellent such interpersonal skills as communication, team-working, problem solving, decision-making and so on. As a matter of fact, it is more valuable for them to participate in these social works than staying at home wasting their time. It provides them with a social environment to socialise with people they do not know in advance, encourages them to exchange their thoughts and beliefs with people and to try to deal with a situation with which they have never faced. These sorts of experiences allow children to gain confidence. In brief, thanks to the community service, they have confidence and experiences they can use later in their life. Despite these arguments, there are also reasons for disagreeing with the idea that school children spend their time working for community in an unpaid way. It shouldn’t be forgotten that children spend most of their time attending school course and doing homework. In addition to these, provided that they take part in community services, they may not able to spend their time the activities they have fun, which brings about them to be stressed and to not able to focus on their education. In the light of what has been mentioned above it can be concluded that although it is undeniable fact that there are some disadvantages for children to participate in community service, it is likely that these kinds of activities can help them develop many skills.
Unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
is a definition of jobs where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
work without earning any money for the sake of society. Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hold to a theory that non-profit organisation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
should be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
for high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
pragrammes. While there are those who are of the opinion that these kinds of job have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
learning process. In this essay, the benefits and downsides of this argument will
be examined
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
opinion will
be provided
.

There are distinct advantages that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
brings to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, it enables them to develop an excellent such interpersonal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
as communication, team-working, problem solving, decision-making and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. As a matter of fact, it is more valuable for them to participate in these social works than staying at home wasting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. It provides them with a social environment to socialise with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
they do not know in advance, encourages them to exchange their thoughts and beliefs with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and to try to deal with a situation with which they have never faced. These sorts of experiences
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to gain confidence.
In brief
, thanks to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
, they have confidence and experiences they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
later in their life.

Despite these arguments, there are
also
reasons for disagreeing with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
working for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
in an unpaid way. It shouldn’t
be forgotten
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend most of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
course and doing homework.
In addition
to these, provided that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
, they may not able to spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
the activities they have fun, which brings about them to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
and to not able to focus on their education.

In the light of what has
been mentioned
above it can
be concluded
that although it is undeniable fact that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to participate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
, it is likely that these kinds of activities can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them develop
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children)

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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