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Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of the society. Others, however, believe that the school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give own opinion v.3

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of the society. Others, however, believe that the school is the best place to learn this. 3
Over the past years, you may see some news which is about young people did something bad, such as killing people and stealing merchandise. That is all about the education is not successful. No wonder people would ask parents should teach their children that how to be a good member in society. I agree the statement, but the school is not the only choice you can have. There are two statements I will share as below. The first one is that you need to consider the qualities of teachers. If they do not have a good character to students, how can they be a great guider to show the correct way? In addition, sometimes students have a lot of pressure in school that may comes from exams, peers or authorities. That would be an incentive for students to do incorrect things. On the other hand, I would recommend the children shall not just learn at school but go outside for practical learning. Everything we learned from school is knowledge, but we really need is practical abilities. For example, some students grauduated then will start to work, but they find is hard to get involved into the environment and not get along with colleagues. That's a main problem they would face. Therefore, the school is a good place, but is not the best one to teach children that how to be a good member of the society. In conclusion, the things that children need is not a comfort zone, like you can be protected well in school or by parents. The most important things is how to teach them the real circumstances they may have in the future, making them stronger, smarter, and adaptable to the world. I think that can let them to be a good member of societies.
Over the past years, you may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
news which is about young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
did something
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
, such as killing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and stealing merchandise.
That is
all about the education is not successful. No wonder
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would ask parents should teach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
that how to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
member in society. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
the statement,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
choice you can have. There are two statements I will share as below.

The
first
one is that you need to consider the qualities of teachers. If they do not have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
character to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, how can they be a great guider to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the correct way?
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
pressure in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
that may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from exams, peers or authorities. That would be an incentive for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to do incorrect things.

On the other hand
, I would recommend the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
shall not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
learn at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
go outside for practical learning. Everything we learned from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is knowledge,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we
really
need is practical abilities.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
Possible spelling mistake found.
grauduated
then will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to work,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they find is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved into the environment and not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
along with colleagues. That's a main problem they would face.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
place,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
is not the best one to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
that how to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
member of the society.

In conclusion
, the things that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
need is not a comfort zone, like you can
be protected
well in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
or by parents. The most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things is how to teach them the real circumstances they may have in the future, making them stronger, smarter, and adaptable to the world. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
member of societies.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of the society. Others, however, believe that the school is the best place to learn this. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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