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In many countries people like to eat a wide variety of food that are grown in other areas As a result they eat more food produced in other regions than local food Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages v.2

In many countries people like to eat a wide variety of food that are grown in other areas As a result they eat more food produced in other regions than local food Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages v. 2
Over the past decades, daily diet has become more diversified than before with a wider range of food imported from other regions. Many people nowadays prefer food transported from other areas to locally produced food. While this tendency is gaining currency and has several benefits, I am the opinion that its drawbacks are more considerable for the following reasons. On the one hand, it is noteworthy that there are some advantages of consuming imported food. Firstly, this trend can increase the varieties of food, thereby guaranteeing the sufficient intake of nutrition. For instance, those who live in cold areas where extreme weather poses various difficulties to farming activities can consume fruits that are grown in tropical area, striking a balance between the consumption of meat and fiber. Secondly, this development could encourage bilateral trading activities between different regions. For example, a country or region can focus on the manufacturing industrial products and exchange them with others, which is consistent with the global trend of specialization. On the other hand, notwithstanding the above mentioned benefits, I would argue that it will be a grievous mistake to disregard its pitfalls. One of its potential harms is that to prolong fruit longevity, especially that of perishable agricultural products, preservatives are commonly used in food processing, which poses a risk to consumer’s health, as these additives may contain some detrimental substances. In addition, another problem that should be taken into account is that excessive consumption of exotic fruits and ignoring the possibility of developing industrialized farming may disable a country from achieving food security or self-sufficiency. A telling example is Norway, statistics have shown that increasing preference to imported food has made this country heavily dependent on food supply from neighboring countries. In conclusion, although there are some undeniable advantages of eating imported food, it is a grave mistake to overlook intangible problems as discussed above.
Over the past decades, daily diet has become more diversified than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
with a wider range of

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imported
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
regions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
nowadays prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
transported from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
areas


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
locally
produced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. While this tendency is gaining currency and has several benefits, I am
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
the


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
opinion
that its drawbacks are more considerable for the following reasons.

On the one hand, it is noteworthy that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages of consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
Firstly
, this trend can

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
increase
the varieties of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, thereby guaranteeing the sufficient intake of nutrition.
For instance
,

those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
areas where extreme weather poses various difficulties to farming activities can

consume fruits that
are grown
in tropical area, striking a balance between the consumption of meat and

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
fiber
.
Secondly
, this development could encourage bilateral trading activities between
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
regions
.
For example
, a country or region can focus on the manufacturing industrial products
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
and


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
exchange
them with others, which is consistent with the global trend of specialization.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, notwithstanding the above mentioned benefits, I would argue that it will be a

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
grievous
mistake to disregard its pitfalls. One of its potential harms is that to prolong fruit longevity,

especially
that of perishable agricultural products, preservatives are
commonly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
processing,

which poses a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
to consumer’s health, as these additives may contain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
detrimental

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
substances
.
In addition
, another problem that should
be taken
into account is that
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
excessive


consumption of exotic fruits and ignoring the possibility of developing industrialized farming may disable

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
a
country from achieving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
security or self-sufficiency. A telling example is Norway, statistics
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
have


shown that increasing preference to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
has made this country
heavily
dependent on food

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
supply
from neighboring countries.

In conclusion
, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
undeniable advantages of eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, it is

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
a
grave mistake to overlook intangible problems as discussed above.
0Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries people like to eat a wide variety of food that are grown in other areas As a result they eat more food produced in other regions than local food Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages v. 2

Essay
  American English
22 paragraphs
312 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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