Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In many countries people like to eat a wide variety of food that are grown in other areas As a result they eat more food produced in other regions than local food Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages v.1

In many countries people like to eat a wide variety of food that are grown in other areas As a result they eat more food produced in other regions than local food Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages v. 1
Nowadays, the world is witnessing a growing number of people suffering from obesity which is a really pressing and dangerous health-related issue. This is mainly due to several reasons as illustrated as follows and I would like to suggest some viable preventions to tackle the problem. The recent increase in average weight of citizens and their deteriorated fitness level seen in many nations is widely thought to stem from unhealthy lifestyles. One of the first problems is that people are consuming more fast food than ever before. To be more exact, a wide range of local food stores and restaurants selling fast food such as french fries, hamburgers or snacks has proven to be conveniently beneficial for those with a tight working schedule. This type of food contains a high level of fat, which, if over-consumed, can lead to an uncontrollable weight gain as well as some detrimental effects on your overall health. In addition, insufficient time for doing exercises is another striking reason. It is noticed that people are experiencing a sedentary lifestyle as there has been an increasing number of white-collar workers who spend most of their working time on sitting. Furthermore, people nowadays, instead of trying to keep fit by regularly doing physical exercises, they waste time on lying on couches watching TV. Therefore, it is understandable that people’s average weight is climbing and their health is exacerbating at a constant rate. However, there are quite a number of feasible methods to alleviate this urgent health problem. One immediate practical solution is that the government should impose a heavier tax on fast food which acts as a deterrent to discourage people from buying these unhealthy products frequently. Additionally, they should make wholesome food more readily available and accessible to citizens as well as emphasize its paramount importance to human health through social media. Next, health-related researchers should design exercise applications available on personal phones as an impulse motivating people to work out in order to get rewards, such as financial ones. This will greatly change people’s attitude towards physical excerises and regular training. In conclusion, overweight is a global issue which is becoming more common nowadays. Nevertheless, with early and proper preventative measures combining with a healthy lifestyle, this challenge will no longer be an intimidating threat to humankind.
Nowadays, the world is witnessing a growing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffering from obesity which is a
really
pressing and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
health-related issue. This is
mainly
due to several reasons as illustrated as follows and I would like to suggest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
viable
Possible spelling mistake found.
preventions
to tackle the problem.

The recent increase in average weight of citizens and their deteriorated fitness level
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations is
widely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
to stem from unhealthy lifestyles. One of the
first
problems is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are consuming more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. To be more exact, a wide range of local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
stores and restaurants selling
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
such as french fries, hamburgers or snacks has proven to be
conveniently
beneficial for those with a tight working schedule. This type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
contains a high level of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
, which, if over-consumed, can lead to an uncontrollable weight gain
as well
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
detrimental effects on your
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
In addition
, insufficient time for doing exercises is another striking reason. It
is noticed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are experiencing a sedentary lifestyle as there has been an increasing number of white-collar workers who spend most of their working time on sitting.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays,
instead
of trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
fit by
regularly
doing physical exercises, they waste time on lying on couches watching TV.
Therefore
, it is understandable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
average weight is climbing and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is exacerbating at a constant rate.

However
, there are quite a number of feasible methods to alleviate this urgent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problem. One immediate practical solution is that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should impose a heavier tax on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
which acts as a deterrent to discourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from buying these unhealthy products
frequently
.
Additionally
, they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
wholesome
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
more
readily
available and accessible to citizens
as well
as emphasize its paramount importance to human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
through social media.
Next
, health-related researchers should design exercise applications available on personal phones as an impulse motivating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to work out in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rewards, such as financial ones. This will
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
attitude towards physical
Possible spelling mistake found.
excerises
and regular training.

In conclusion
, overweight is a global issue which is becoming more common nowadays.
Nevertheless
, with early and proper preventative measures combining with a healthy lifestyle, this challenge will no longer be an intimidating threat to humankind.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries people like to eat a wide variety of food that are grown in other areas As a result they eat more food produced in other regions than local food Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
382 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts