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Some people think that art ( such as painting and music) does not directly improve the quality of people's lives, so the government spends money on other areas. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Some people think that art ( such as painting and music) does not directly improve the quality of people's lives, so the government spends money on other areas. v. 2
In this day and age, there is a proliferation consensus that the government and local authorities have been endeavoring to enhance the civic' s life. Notwithstanding, this situation has sparked the firestorm whether numerous countries are squandering much money via some vain of art categories instead of investing in the infrastructure and economy. To the best of my knowledge, art does not solely contribute to the aesthetic precursor but also let our imagination run wide. I am biased towards the former opinion and the following essay will be analyzed in depth. Initially, it is essential to recognize that the radical role of arts in state-of-the-art society is an invisible value, providing people to entertainment and yielding various psychological rewards, such as relief from stress. To be more specific, the masterpieces are just one of the soul seed, and also as a key component of culture and naturally passed down from one generation to another, especially it requires no money to survive. By way of illustration, when people constantly confined by under pressure in work or daily life, the most effective way to find some songs in which drive them to get lean and escape the hustle and bustle. On the flip side, it is equally pivotal to distinguish the fact that public money of a city should be concentrated on a prospect like public facilities, which are more likely to bring immediate merits to the society rather than the arts. As a result of participating subject in several developing countries that build up a number of industrial products and integration with global' s economy improvement plays a vital role rather than an expectation about the entertainment industry because of capacity to satisfy the needs of citizens and improve their high living standard. Beyond any doubt, it is obvious that public facilities play a fundamental function about the well-being of individual civic. However, it is an inevitable and undistributed fact that the benefits of arts. I hope that the government will have rational fine-tune between material and spirit values in the long run.
In this day and age, there is a proliferation consensus that the
government
and local authorities have been endeavoring to enhance the
civic&
#039; s life. Notwithstanding, this situation has sparked the firestorm whether numerous countries are squandering much money via
some
vain of
art
categories
instead
of investing in the infrastructure and economy. To the best of my knowledge,
art
does not
solely
contribute to the aesthetic precursor
but
also
let
our imagination run wide. I
am biased
towards the former opinion and the following essay will
be analyzed
in depth.

Initially
, it is essential to recognize that the radical role of
arts
in state-of-the-art society is an invisible value, providing
people
to entertainment and yielding various psychological rewards, such as relief from
stress
. To be more specific, the masterpieces are
just
one of the soul seed, and
also
as a key component of culture and
naturally
passed down from one generation to another,
especially
it requires no money to survive. By way of illustration, when
people
constantly
confined by under pressure in work or daily life, the most effective way to find
some
songs in which drive them to
get
lean and escape the hustle and bustle.

On the flip side, it is
equally
pivotal to distinguish the fact that public money of a city should
be concentrated
on a prospect like public facilities, which are more likely to bring immediate merits to the society
rather
than the
arts
.
As a result
of participating subject in several
developing countries
that build up a number of industrial products and integration with
global&
#039; s economy improvement plays a vital role
rather
than an expectation about the entertainment industry
because
of capacity to satisfy the needs of citizens and
improve
their high living standard.

Beyond any doubt, it is obvious that public facilities play a fundamental function about the well-being of individual civic.
However
, it is an inevitable and undistributed fact that the benefits of
arts
. I hope that the
government
will have rational fine-tune between material and spirit values in the long run.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that art ( such as painting and music) does not directly improve the quality of people's lives, so the government spends money on other areas. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
342 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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