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Some people think that art ( such as painting and music) does not directly improve the quality of people's lives, so the government spends money on other areas. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people think that art ( such as painting and music) does not directly improve the quality of people's lives, so the government spends money on other areas. v. 1
As Technology is getting better and better each and every day, People life's are becoming much easier. Tech-Inventions have changed even the way of life, One such thing is reading habit. In this Essay, I would be highlighting the merits and demerits of E-books. Electronic Books are nothing but the latest way of reading books in this internet dominant society. It has eased the pain of carrying multiple volume of the novel where ever we go. Not only reduced the weight, Which we carry around, It gives a lot of good experience even though we continue reading it for long hours. Mainly nowadays all the books have been published as an e-book paper waste generated has reduced. Now the world has more middle class than it had at a period of time. People are able to afford purchasing kindle or such device which can handle ebooks, Popularity has greatly increased. The Main purpose of E books is to reduce the complexity of storing, handling and utilizing the books. Secondly, It can be used at dark without disturbing others. Lastly, One can purchase it and can be shared across without any cost involved, The content of it doesn't get erased or the copy won't go out of sales unlike books. On the other hand, Ebooks poses a huge risk for the authors whose books can be easily be available in the black market. E-books are not suitable for poor people who still has the hobby of reading books. To Conclude, E books have more advantage than the disadvantage of its in the society. People are definitely more happier to hold a kindle rather than books in a recent study, which paves the way for futuristic and more advancement in Electronic books.
As Technology is getting better and better each and every day,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
Consider using the plural form here: "lifes".
life's
are becoming much easier. Tech-Inventions have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
even the way of life, One such thing is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
habit. In this Essay, I would be highlighting the merits and demerits of E-books.

Electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Books
are nothing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the latest way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
in this internet dominant society. It has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
eased
the pain of carrying multiple volume of the novel where ever we go. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the weight, Which we carry around, It gives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
experience
even though
we continue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
it for long hours.
Mainly
nowadays all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
have
been published
as an e-book paper waste generated has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
the world has more middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
than it had at a period of time.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are able to afford
If 'afford' is used as a verb, it usually requires the infinitive: "to purchase".
purchasing
kindle or such device which can handle
Possible spelling mistake found.
ebooks
, Popularity has
greatly
increased. The Main purpose of E
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the complexity of storing, handling and utilizing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
.
Secondly
, It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
at dark without disturbing others.
Lastly
, One can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
it and can
be shared
across without any cost involved, The content of it doesn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
erased or the copy won't go out of sales unlike books.

On the other hand
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ebooks
poses a huge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
for the authors whose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
can be
easily
Consider using a past participle here: "been".
be
available in the black market. E-books are not suitable for poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
still
has the hobby of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
books.

To Conclude
, E
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
have more advantage than the disadvantage of its in the society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are definitely
Use only "happier" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more happier
to hold a
"Kindle" is a proper noun and needs to be capitalized.
kindle
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
in a recent study, which paves the way for futuristic and more advancement in Electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay Some people think that art ( such as painting and music) does not directly improve the quality of people's lives, so the government spends money on other areas. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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