Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In many countries, people have health problems because they choose to live in unhealthy ways. What do you think the reasons for this and how can it be solved? v.2

In many countries, people have health problems because they choose to live in unhealthy ways. What do you think the reasons for this and how can it be solved? v. 2
In the modern world, human has become unhealthier than before as compared with earlier ages. As a consequence, the high impact of economic and social issues has been occurring in the past decades. However, the prominent reason is an unhealthy lifestyle. In this essay, I will explain the cause of this issue and how to avoid this. Firstly, these days, many individuals trying to climb the corporate ladder for more earning that they're unable to focus on themselves, which leads to overweight and many diseases. Early days, humans consume a high amount of nutritious foods and use them to prepare their food by themselves. Modern-day humans tend to utilize process and instant food in order the full fill their needs which contain extreme amounts of fat and salt. High sugary carbonated drinks has been replace pure water, which is a high effect on blood sugar levels. Those who utilized those foods and drink, have more risk of having diseases like diabetic, high cholesterol. Moreover, lack of exercise and movements also cause a detrimental effect on the body and direct effect on the performance of every human being. Secondly, self-motivation and awareness of health risk that is essential to prevent, by maintaining a healthy diet and routine exercising to build a healthy society. The government involvement is critical to aware of those who avoid a healthy lifestyle and get back on the track. Early detection of health risks can be a cure and also there are effective methods to gain self-confidence and become healthy and active individuals. In contrast, the world has filled with unhealthy effects moving human being, that slows down human activities. However, to avoid this outcome, self-motivation and changing habits is crucial.
In the modern world,
human
has become unhealthier than
before
as compared with earlier ages. As a consequence, the
high
impact of economic and social issues has been occurring in the past decades.
However
, the prominent reason is an unhealthy lifestyle. In this essay, I will
explain
the cause of this issue and how to avoid this.

Firstly
, these days,
many
individuals trying to climb the corporate ladder for more earning that they're unable to focus on themselves, which leads to overweight and
many
diseases. Early days,
humans
consume a
high
amount of nutritious
foods
and
use
them to prepare their
food
by themselves. Modern-day
humans
tend to utilize process and instant
food
in order the full fill their needs which contain extreme amounts of
fat
and salt.
High
sugary carbonated drinks has been
replace
pure water, which is a
high
effect
on blood sugar levels. Those who utilized those
foods
and drink, have more
risk
of having diseases like diabetic,
high
cholesterol.

Moreover
, lack of exercise and movements
also
cause a detrimental
effect
on the body and direct
effect
on the performance of every
human
being.

Secondly
, self-motivation and awareness of health
risk
that is
essential to
prevent
, by maintaining a
healthy
diet and routine exercising to build a
healthy
society. The
government
involvement is critical to aware of those who avoid a
healthy
lifestyle and
get
back on the
track
. Early detection of health
risks
can be a cure and
also
there are effective methods to gain self-confidence and become
healthy
and active individuals.

In contrast
, the world has filled with unhealthy effects moving
human
being, that slows down
human
activities.
However
, to avoid this outcome, self-motivation and changing habits is crucial.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries, people have health problems because they choose to live in unhealthy ways. What do you think the reasons for this and how can it be solved? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
284 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts