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In many countries, people have health problems because they choose to live in unhealthy ways. What do you think the reasons for this and how can it be solved? v.3

In many countries, people have health problems because they choose to live in unhealthy ways. What do you think the reasons for this and how can it be solved? v. 3
Unnatural ways of living of humans in most of the nation have caused drastic fitness issues. The following paragraphs will elucidate possible reasons for the problems and propose a handful of remedial measures. To commence with the reasons, first and foremost is obsessed of humans with junk food. Now a day, fast food shops are opened in every area and very easily approachable. Junk food is readily available at any time, so people feel cooking is the waste of time and the start eating these junk foods available in the streets, stores and in the mobile shops. These unnatural habits lead to fitness problems in the humans. Secondly, lack of daily exercise is one of the many causes of creating health issues in the humans. Most of the people are lazy or over involved in their daily works, so they forget to go for daily exercise or they do not have time to go for routine exercise or walk. Some of them intentionally do not want exercise as they are obsessed to watch movies, dramas and playing games in their free time. Adding further a few reasons, such as unwanted over pressures due to the work and bad habits like smoking are the additional reasons to live unhealthy. To exemplify, in 2010 a health survey had been conducted in Pakistan and it was found that 70% of the people living in Pakistan had severe health problems due to the unhealthy ways of living which was only 30% ten years earlier in 2000. Undoubtedly, every lock has a key. Similarly, some solutions should be implemented such as the Government should promote healthy ways of living through advertising in Television and in daily newspapers. Not only Government as well as people should avoid eating unhealthy food and try to cook food in homes such as vegetables are the best organic food for health. Government should take action against unhygienic ways for selling food and should stop food mobile shops on street if these shops have not followed food quality procedures. Moreover, gardens and running tracks should construct by the local authorities of the area in the neighbourhood. Which are easy to access and motivate nearby living habitats for daily exercise and walks. To conclude, I would like to state that Governments and peoples, both should put their best foot forward together in order to curb the menace and should promote and adopt natural ways to live a healthier, longer, fitter and better life.
Unnatural
ways
of
living
of
humans
in most of the nation have caused drastic fitness issues. The following paragraphs will elucidate possible
reasons
for the problems and propose a handful of remedial measures.

To commence with the
reasons
,
first
and foremost
is obsessed
of
humans
with junk
food
.
Now
a day,
fast
food
shops
are opened
in every area and
very
easily
approachable. Junk
food
is
readily
available at any time,
so
people
feel cooking is the waste of time and the
start
eating these junk
foods
available in the streets, stores and in the mobile
shops
. These unnatural habits lead to fitness problems in the
humans
.
Secondly
, lack of
daily
exercise
is one of the
many
causes of creating
health
issues in the
humans
. Most of the
people
are lazy or over involved in their
daily
works,
so
they forget to go for
daily
exercise or
they do not have time to go for routine
exercise
or walk.
Some
of them
intentionally
do not want
exercise
as they
are obsessed
to
watch
movies, dramas and playing games in their free time.

Adding
further
a few
reasons
, such as unwanted over pressures due to the work and
bad
habits like smoking are the additional
reasons
to
live
unhealthy. To exemplify, in 2010 a
health
survey had
been conducted
in Pakistan and it
was found
that 70% of the
people
living
in Pakistan had severe
health
problems due to the unhealthy
ways
of
living
which was
only
30% ten years earlier in 2000.

Undoubtedly
, every lock has a key.
Similarly
,
some
solutions should
be implemented
such as the
Government
should promote healthy
ways
of
living
through advertising in Television and in
daily
newspapers. Not
only
Government
as well
as
people
should avoid eating unhealthy
food
and try to cook
food
in homes such as vegetables are the best organic
food
for
health
.
Government
should take action against unhygienic
ways
for selling
food
and should
stop
food
mobile
shops
on street if these
shops
have not followed
food
quality procedures.
Moreover
, gardens and running
tracks
should construct by the local authorities of the area in the
neighbourhood
. Which are easy to access and motivate nearby
living
habitats for
daily
exercise
and walks.

To conclude
, I would like to state that
Governments
and
peoples
, both should put their best foot forward together in order to curb the menace and should promote and adopt natural
ways
to
live
a healthier, longer, fitter and better life.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
55Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay In many countries, people have health problems because they choose to live in unhealthy ways. What do you think the reasons for this and how can it be solved? v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
411 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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