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in many countries people are moving away from rural areas and towards urban areas. why do you think that is? what problems can this cause? v.1

in many countries people are moving away from rural areas and towards urban areas. why do you think that is? what problems can this cause? v. 1
Most of the countries a quite number of communities depart from the countryside and shifted to the town. In my opinion, this is a very big problem for most of the countries. People are leaving the village and shifted to the main town. People do not earn sufficient money to live in rural areas. So, they think if they are coming to the main town, they can easily income more money. This is the main reason people are leaving rural areas and settled down in the urban area. There are a lot of problems people are moving away from the village to the town. Most of the companies are situated in the city. That company there are more opportunities to get work. So, people do not think twice before leaving the rural area. They think they can earn more money than in the village area. But when they are coming they get a job, but do not earn much money. In this case, they cannot go to his previous place. They are leaving on the slam. All of this reason, the population has over exceeded and the cities of most countries faced a lot of pressure. Secondly, many environmental disasters are another big reason people have left the village. Sometimes, causes of environmental disaster peoples are departing from their leaving place forcefully and they come to the city and work as a driver, a rickshaw puller or day labourer. For example, a person I know him, he lives in Rangpur. He is a farmer. He has a lot of land, but the land has some problems. Due to floods, his land was salty and he can not grow any crops. His only one land left where he has some nut tree. In this situation, he is moving to his village and come into the city with his family. Now he sells nuts and he lives in a slum. To conclude, to overcome this problem the government should take necessary steps. Many job opportunities created in rural areas. I think people should reduce the dependency to live in the capital and think twice before they leave the rural area.
Most of the countries a
You used an adverb ('quite') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('number') instead of another adjective.
quite number
of communities depart from the countryside and shifted to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
. In my opinion, this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
for most of the countries.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are leaving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
and shifted to the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
do not earn sufficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
if they are coming to the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
, they can
easily
income more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. This is the main reason
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are leaving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
and settled down in the urban area.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are moving away from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
. Most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are situated
in the city. That
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
there are more opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
work.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
twice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
leaving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
they can earn more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
than in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
when they are coming they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
do not earn much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
In this case
, they cannot go to his previous place. They are leaving on the slam. All of this reason, the population has over exceeded and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
of most countries faced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
pressure.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
environmental disasters are another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
reason
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, causes of environmental disaster
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
are departing from their leaving place
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
forcefully and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to the city and work as a driver, a rickshaw puller or day
Possible spelling mistake found.
labourer
.
For example
, a person I know him, he
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Rangpur
. He is a farmer. He has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. Due to floods, his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
was
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
salty and
he can not grow any crops. His
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
where he has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nut tree. In this situation, he is moving to his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
into the city with his family.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
he sells nuts and he
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
in a slum.

To conclude
, to overcome this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take necessary steps.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
job opportunities created in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the dependency to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in the capital and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
twice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
50Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay in many countries people are moving away from rural areas and towards urban areas. why do you think that is? what problems can this cause? v. 1

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
358 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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