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In many countries people are living in a "throwaway society" where things are used for a short time and thrown away. What are the causes of this and what problems does it lead to? v.2

In many countries people are living in a "throwaway society" where things are used for a short time and thrown away. What are the causes of this and what problems does it lead to? v. 2
People in many different countries are living a thrown away culture, where a particular product is used for a short period and then it is discarded. There are several reasons for this trend, and it has different consequences. One of the many reasons is that technology is advancing every day. Many companies are striving to bring a better and more efficient product to the market, while also making the previous version of the same product redundant. Sometimes, such updated products are introduced even before the old one can be used to its full potential. For instance, every few years Apple introduces a new phone with better specifications, even though the previous phone is working fine. Another factor is that we live in a society where having a new product is considered as a status symbol. As a result, there is a constant pressure on a person to throw away his old product and buy a new one. For example, the price of the iPhone is exorbitantly high, but people still buy the new one in order to be accepted in their society. As a consequence of this throwaway culture, there is an increase in the waste product, which is further damaging the environment. Research has shown that every year waste is increasing at an alarming speed which poses a threat to the planet Earth. It is also known that technological waste has a more harmful impact on the natural environment. Furthermore, peer pressure to own a latest product has given rise to various mental health and social issues. For example, people are more likely to be depressed and commit a crime when there is constant competition to be better than others. In conclusion, technological advancement and consumerism are the leading causes of this throwaway society, which gives rise to waste problem and social issues. If only the government takes the necessary measures to halt this, the problem of waste can be solved.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries are living a thrown away culture, where a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for a short period and then it
is discarded
. There are several reasons for this trend, and it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
consequences.

One of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons is that technology is advancing every day.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are striving to bring a better and more efficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
to the market, while
also
making the previous version of the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
redundant.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, such updated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are introduced
even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
one can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to its full potential.
For instance
, every few years Apple introduces a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
phone with better specifications,
even though
the previous phone is working fine. Another factor is that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a society where having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
is considered
as a status symbol.
As a result
, there is a constant pressure on a person to throw away his
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
one.
For example
, the price of the iPhone is
exorbitantly
high,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
one in order to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
in their society.

As a consequence of this throwaway culture, there is an increase in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
, which is
further
damaging the environment. Research has shown that every year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
is increasing at an alarming speed which poses a threat to the planet Earth. It is
also
known that technological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
has a more harmful impact on the natural environment.
Furthermore
, peer pressure to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
rise to various mental health and social issues.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are more likely to
be depressed
and commit a crime when there is constant competition to be better than others.

In conclusion
, technological advancement and consumerism are the leading causes of this throwaway society, which gives rise to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
problem and social issues. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
takes the necessary measures to halt this, the problem of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
can
be solved
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS essay In many countries people are living in a "throwaway society" where things are used for a short time and thrown away. What are the causes of this and what problems does it lead to? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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