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In many countries of the world, some people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that, this good for country. Others think that the government should not allow salaries above certain level. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

In many countries of the world, some people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that, this good for country. Others think that the government should not allow salaries above certain level. v. 1
In many organizations around the globe, some individuals earn very high salaries in comparison to others. People stand in two different positions regarding this. Some claim this would benefit their countries, while others are against it and advise the authorities to prohibit this legally. In my opinion, this is good for countries and would move the economy further. Giving very high salaries would push the economy towards more prosperity. This is the outcome of a chain of linked consequences as the following. Companies would hire the best applicant for every vacant position and for companies having the qualified employees in the right position, the productivity of those companies would be at the maximum. These eventually, move the economy forward effectively. Another benefit to add is the motivation of people to do more and to get higher salaries and also, it allows more fair competition as employee salary would be related to their skills and qualifications. In contrast, some people might think giving high salaries is unfair and this should not be allowed. They think this will create a feeling of inequality among people. However, if they looked at it from different prospective they would notice that it comes to their best at the end. In a proper tax system, the higher income individuals will pay more tax, and this tax subsequently, will be reflected as public services which would benefit all the people, especially those with low and middle income individuals. To conclude offering very high salaries is good for all, companies, countries and employees, as it would motivate individuals to do more, companies to gain more, and countries to be richer.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
organizations around the globe,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
in comparison
to others.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
stand in two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
positions regarding this.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
claim this would benefit their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, while others are against it and advise the authorities to prohibit this
legally
. In my opinion, this is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
the economy
further
.

Giving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
would push the economy towards more prosperity. This is the outcome of a chain of linked consequences as the following.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Companies
would hire the best applicant for every vacant position and for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
having the qualified employees in the right position, the productivity of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
would be at the maximum. These
eventually
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
the economy forward
effectively
. Another benefit to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
is the motivation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to do more and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
and
also
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
competition as employee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
would
be related
to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and qualifications.

In contrast
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
is unfair and this should not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this will create a feeling of inequality among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
However
, if they looked at it from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
prospective they would notice that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to their best at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
. In a proper tax system, the higher income individuals will pay more tax, and this tax
subsequently
, will
be reflected
as public services which would benefit all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
those with low and middle income individuals.

To conclude
offering
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for all,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and employees, as it would motivate individuals to do more,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to gain more, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to be richer.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries of the world, some people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that, this good for country. Others think that the government should not allow salaries above certain level. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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