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In many countries nowadays, young single people no longer stay with their parents until they are married, but leave to study or work somewhere else. Do you think this trend has more advantages or disadvantages? v.8

In many countries nowadays, young single people no longer stay with their parents until they are married, but leave to study or work somewhere else. Do you think this trend has more advantages or disadvantages? v. 8
Over the past few years, there has been an increasing trend of adolescents staying away from home and parents to another place for the purpose of getting a good qualification or employment. There are various pros and cons of this trend which are elaborated in this essay. On the one hand, I believe there are certain positive effects on the juveniles who choose to study or work away from their residence. Firstly, it helps the young ones to become more independent when the parents are not around them for spoon feeding. Moreover, they are able to make decisions by themselves that makes them more confident. Secondly, the experience of living far from home makes the children more responsible at a very young age. For instance, a person doing a job will know how to carry out the expenses and to save the money, when he is not living with parents. Finally, experiencing the different phases of life and learning from them can be possible when one is living away from his family. On the other hand, the negative sides of this trend should not be ignored. Becoming independent and leaving parents for the career might cause the children to become emotionless and they may not feel the love that develops while living with parents. Furthermore, some of them can feel lonely and homesick that hinders their success for which they might be struggling. In conclusion, considering both the aspects of living away from home for personal reasons, the advantages of this drift far outweigh the disadvantages.
Over the past few years, there has been an increasing trend of adolescents staying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
from home and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to another place for the purpose of getting a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
qualification or employment. There are various pros and cons of this trend which
are elaborated
in this essay.

On the one hand, I believe there are certain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects on the juveniles who choose to study or work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
from their residence.
Firstly
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the young ones to become more independent when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are not around them for
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
spoon feeding
.
Moreover
, they are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
decisions by themselves that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them more confident.
Secondly
, the experience of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
far from home
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the children more responsible at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young age.
For instance
, a person doing a job will know how to carry out the expenses and to save the money, when he is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Finally
, experiencing the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
phases of life and learning from them can be possible when one is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
from his family.

On the other hand
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sides of this trend should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
. Becoming independent and leaving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
for the career might cause the children to become
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
emotionless and
they may not feel the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
that develops while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them can feel lonely and homesick that hinders their success for which they might be struggling.

In conclusion
, considering both the aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
from home for personal reasons, the advantages of this drift far outweigh the disadvantages.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries nowadays, young single people no longer stay with their parents until they are married, but leave to study or work somewhere else. Do you think this trend has more advantages or disadvantages? v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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