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Imagine that you plan to donate money to charity to help people in need. If you could give money to only one type of charitable organization, which one of the following would you choose and why? - An organization that provides food and housing to people i v.2

Imagine that you plan to donate money to charity to help people in need. If you could give money to only one type of charitable organization, which one of the following would you choose and why? - An organization that provides food and housing to people i v. 2
No one can cast a shadow of doubt on the fact that charity institutes have a paramount role in societies to help poor people for having a good life. Annually some famous celebrity and rich people donate a lot of money to these organizations for providing food, house, borrowing money establishing small businesses and medicine. Not all people concur when this issue arises. Being cognizant to the logic behind those who repudiate or endorse the legitimacy of this contention, not having any biased perception, I presume that donating money to some organization which distributing among people for establishing some small businesses is more beneficial for societies in comparison with other options. Among a plentitude of reasons in support of this assertion, providing new job chances for other poor people and improvement of the economy of the societies could be picked out for further analysis. To commence with, a consensus has yet to be reached; however, regarding the providing job for people to being needless of other people’s help, based on the statistics of different general questionnaires of sundry countries, people are unanimous about the conviction that people could hire new poor people when their own businesses begin; moreover, these employees could obtain their need by working in these new jobs. They could prepare food, house, and medicine for their families without any donating. A vivid example can be given to shed light on what was elaborated above. The results of a study carried out by Rice University’s graduate students unveiled that if Iran’s government advocate about 100 million dollars in start-up organization about 8500 persons could employ in 250 work center. These results show the importance of the new businesses in omitting poor people which could establish by other people who need money for starting. In addition to the reason raised above; the rule of omitting jobless people by providing the job for them in the economy of countries could also substantiate the justifiability of the claim made at the outset of this essay. In conjunction with public belief, these new businesses could get services to the people by addressing new production or services. These activities prosper the roots of progress in the societies and the rate of jobless people could reduce significantly. For instance, when some small company starts to work for production some small electronic devices, many people find the opportunity for getting a job; furthermore, these product use by other big companies and they will provide their basic needs by purchasing small companies’ productions. These will improve the economy of the societies. Drawing upon of the above reasons, discreetly put, as far as my personal perspective on the topic is concerned, I reiterate that donating money to some organization for establishing some new small businesses and employing other poor people are the best method for helping them. Not only it makes the job for these poor people and makes them independence of other’s helps but also it could improve the economic state of the countries.
No one can cast a shadow of doubt on the fact that charity institutes have a paramount role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
life.
Annually
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Consider using "celebrity".
famous celebrity
and rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
donate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
for providing food,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, borrowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
establishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
and medicine. Not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
concur when this issue arises. Being cognizant to the logic behind those who repudiate or endorse the legitimacy of this contention, not having any biased perception, I presume that donating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
which distributing among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for establishing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
is more beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
in comparison
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
options. Among a
Possible spelling mistake found.
plentitude
of reasons in support of this assertion, providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
chances for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and improvement of the economy of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
could
be picked
out for
further
analysis.

To commence with, a consensus has
yet
to
be reached
;
however
, regarding the providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to being needless of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
, based on the statistics of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
general questionnaires of sundry countries,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are unanimous about the conviction that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could hire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
when their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
;
moreover
, these employees could obtain their need by working in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. They could prepare food,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, and medicine for their families without any donating. A vivid example can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to shed light on what
was elaborated
above. The results of a study carried out by Rice University’s graduate students unveiled that if Iran’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
advocate about 100 million dollars in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
-up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
about 8500 persons could employ in 250 work center. These results
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the importance of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
in omitting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
which could establish by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for starting.

In addition
to the reason raised above; the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
of omitting jobless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by providing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
for them in the economy of countries could
also
substantiate the
Possible spelling mistake found.
justifiability
of the claim made at the outset of this essay. In conjunction with public belief, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
services to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by addressing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
production or services. These activities prosper the roots of progress in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
and the rate of jobless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
significantly
.
For instance
, when
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
to work for production
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
electronic devices,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find the opportunity for getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
;
furthermore
, these product
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
companies and
they will provide their basic needs by purchasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
’ productions. These will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the economy of the societies.

Drawing upon of the above reasons,
discreetly
put, as far as my personal perspective on the topic
is concerned
, I reiterate that donating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
for establishing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
and employing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are the best method for helping them. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them independence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the economic state of the countries.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
69Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Imagine that you plan to donate money to charity to help people in need. If you could give money to only one type of charitable organization, which one of the following would you choose and why? - An organization that provides food and housing to people i v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
498 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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