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in many countries men and women are working full time it is therefore logical for both men and women to share their house hold tasks. to what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

in many countries men and women are working full time it is therefore logical for both men and women to share their house hold tasks. v. 1
In many parts of the world, parents or couples have their own full time jobs, which leave limited hours to take care their household needs. Some suggest an equal division of responsibilities. In my opinion, I do agree with equal share of tasks between man and woman living under one roof. On the one hand, I strongly agree with the voices that call for equal participation between the couple for their home maintenance and enough care. Knowing that, they work for at least eight hours and return back home tired, so, it is going to be helpful to cooperate with each other in cleaning and cooking for instance. In addition, this will decrease chances for dispute between them, and that will ensure calm lovely domestic feelings. Added to that, if the couple has children this would be great, since, their kids will have better care and attention. On the other hand, some disagree with this suggestion, claiming that men's jobs are more difficult and harder than women's jobs. So they need a moment to relax when they came back home. Such as, Surgeons work-style is very hectic and takes long working hours. In fact, they might work up to midnight and that make it impossible for them to share and help in the emerging daily house problems and needs. In conclusion, life needs strong bipartisan collaboration between both man and woman in the same house in order to convert their life into calm and peaceful environment which in turns will be good for the whole family.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts of the world, parents or couples have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
full time jobs, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
limited hours to take care their household needs.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
suggest an equal division of responsibilities. In my opinion, I do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with equal share of tasks between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
and woman living under one roof.

On the one hand, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the voices that call for equal participation between the couple for their home maintenance and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
care. Knowing that, they work for at least eight hours and
Consider using "return".
return back
home tired,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, it is going to be helpful to cooperate with each other in cleaning and cooking
for instance
.
In addition
, this will decrease chances for dispute between them, and that will ensure calm lovely domestic feelings.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Added
to that, if the couple has children this would be great, since, their kids will have better care and attention.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disagree with this suggestion, claiming that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
's jobs are more difficult and harder than women's jobs.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they need a moment to relax when they came back home. Such as, Surgeons work-style is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
hectic and takes long working hours. In fact, they might work up to midnight and that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it impossible for them to share and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in the emerging daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
problems and needs.

In conclusion
, life needs strong bipartisan collaboration between both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
and woman in the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
in order to convert their life into calm and peaceful environment which in turns will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for the whole family.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay in many countries men and women are working full time it is therefore logical for both men and women to share their house hold tasks. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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