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in many countries traditional foods are being replaced by international fast foods. this is having a negative effect on the families and societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

in many countries traditional foods are being replaced by international fast foods. this is having a negative effect on the families and societies. v. 1
In this era of globalization, there has been an immense infusion of foreign fast food companies into the local markets of developing nations. Some section of masses believes that it is proving to be detrimental for native families and localities as it is replacing their home-cooked meals. To which, I also completely accord with. The major drawback I feel that these foreign food giants have is they charge a hefty amount for the food they sell. Global cuisines like burgers, pizzas or even a pack of french fries is pricy in nature. They are marketed heavily by these international brands in local markets. As a result, their cost of production shoots up. Therefore, it adds into the price of such foods. The burden of which ultimately falls on the shoulders of consumers. Whereas in house meals consists of locally grown raw materials which needs no advertisements, thereby costing far less to produce and consume. Moreover, another point to consider is the nutritional value of these junk foods. Primarily, these foods are devoid of all the micro and macro nutrients, which is essential for human body. Most of them consists of high saturated fats, which are proved to be high in cholesterol, leading to obesity. Additionally, they are also filled with harmful chemicals like AGINOMOTO, which are used as taste enhancers by the companies. Making them mouth watering and relishing to indulge in. Whereas, it is not the case with indigenous foods like locally grown pulses, rice or legumes that have high contents of proteins and fibres in them. Therefore, fast foods being savoury to eat, have no health benefits. To conclude, as per the above discussed points, I stand clear that global fast foods have adverse effects on the local people as it is low in nutritional content and highly priced, putting a toll on the consumer's pocket. Hence, it is worthwhile to indulge in local delicacies in order to stay healthy and disease free.
In this era of globalization, there has been an immense infusion of foreign
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
markets of developing nations.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
section of masses believes that it is proving to be detrimental for native families and localities as it is replacing their home-cooked meals. To which, I
also
completely accord with.

The major drawback I feel that these foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
giants have is they charge a hefty amount for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
they sell. Global cuisines like burgers, pizzas or even a pack of french fries is
Possible spelling mistake found.
pricy
in nature. They
are marketed
heavily
by these international brands in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
markets.
As a result
, their cost of production shoots up.
Therefore
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
into the price of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
. The burden of which
ultimately
falls on the shoulders of consumers. Whereas in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
meals consists of
locally
grown raw materials which needs no advertisements, thereby costing far less to produce and consume.

Moreover
, another point to consider is the nutritional value of these junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
.
Primarily
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
are devoid of all the micro and macro nutrients, which is essential for human body. Most of them consists of high saturated fats, which
are proved
to be high in cholesterol, leading to obesity.
Additionally
, they are
also
filled with harmful chemicals like
Possible spelling mistake found.
AGINOMOTO
, which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as taste enhancers by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. Making them mouth watering and relishing to indulge in. Whereas, it is not the case with indigenous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
like
locally
grown pulses, rice or legumes that have high contents of proteins and
Possible spelling mistake. 'fibres' is British English.
fibres
in them.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
being
Possible spelling mistake. 'savoury' is British English.
savoury
to eat, have no health benefits.

To conclude
, as per the above discussed points, I stand
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that global
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
have adverse effects on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
as it is low in nutritional content and
highly
priced, putting a toll on the consumer's pocket.
Hence
, it is worthwhile to indulge in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
delicacies in order to stay healthy and disease free.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay in many countries traditional foods are being replaced by international fast foods. this is having a negative effect on the families and societies. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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