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In many countries it is now illegal to smoke in public places. It is only fair that people who wish to smoke should have to leave the building. Do you agree or disagree? v.5

In many countries it is now illegal to smoke in public places. It is only fair that people who wish to smoke should have to leave the building. v. 5
One of the most conspicuous trends in today's world is smoking in public areas. For the past few years, many countries strictly restrict smokers to smoke in public and educate them to smoke in designated places. As such, most people are offended by such amusements to leave the place to help others. In my view, I agree that smokers should feel responsible for their actions and follow certain rules to continue their habit. Firstly, smoking in public can deteriorate both active and passive smoker's health. Not many people are aware that smoking not only affects the smokers, but also affects passive smokers and family members. However, many countries are educating people to encourage good air conditions and prevent non-smokers to catch a disease. For instance, countries like Australia are releasing smoking mobile applications to locate smoking zone to avoid air pollution. Needless to say, smoking not only thrills, but also kills both smokers and non-smokers. Secondly, one of the most preponderant solution is to impose more taxes on tobacco products and expensive fines; however, this income can help the government to use on welfare activities and help the country's economy. For example, smoking in Japan is banned in a few cities and fines collected are used to improve air quality by the government. Hence, the governments should impose strict rules and regulate designated areas to smoke for better quality of air. In conclusion, most of the countries are conducting counselling sessions to smokers to follow certain rules and imposing huge fines can reduce smokers and improve peoples life expectancy. Finally, the role of laws and rules are too dire to ignore.
One of the most conspicuous trends in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in public areas. For the past few years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
strictly
restrict smokers to smoke in public and educate them to smoke in designated places. As such, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are offended
by such amusements to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
others. In my view, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that smokers should feel responsible for their actions and follow certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
to continue their habit.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in public can deteriorate both active and passive smoker's health. Not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are aware that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
affects the smokers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
affects passive smokers and family members.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to encourage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
air conditions and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
non-smokers to catch a disease.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like Australia are releasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
mobile applications to locate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
zone to avoid air pollution. Needless to say,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
thrills,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
kills both smokers and non-smokers.

Secondly
, one of the most preponderant
Please check whether a plural form of 'solution' should be used.
solution
is to impose more taxes on tobacco products and expensive fines;
however
, this income can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
on welfare activities and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the country's economy.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in Japan
is banned
in a few cities and fines collected are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
air quality by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
Hence
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should impose strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
and regulate designated areas to smoke for better quality of air.

In conclusion
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are conducting counselling sessions to smokers to follow certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
and imposing huge fines can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
smokers and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
life expectancy.
Finally
, the role of laws and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
are too dire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries it is now illegal to smoke in public places. It is only fair that people who wish to smoke should have to leave the building. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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