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In many countries it is now illegal to smoke in public places. It is only fair that people who wish to smoke should have to leave the building. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

In many countries it is now illegal to smoke in public places. It is only fair that people who wish to smoke should have to leave the building. v. 2
It is an irrefutable that now a day, The trend of the smoking among people is increasing rapidly. Some people assert that the smoking is not good for health and it should not be allowed to smog in public areas. In my opinion, I totally agree with the statement and in this essay, I intend to support my views before conclusion can be drawn. There are several reasons for this. The first and foremost is that the smoking is injurious to the health, but there is no doubt, the smoking in-front of other folks is also having the same effects as active smokers. For an instance, According to the survey, 70 percent of The Cancer problems caused by the visible vapours and 50 percent of the passive person have the same health issues such as breathing, stomach which is found in the active smokers. On the contrary side, To reduce the bad impact of the smoking, The cigarette companies introduce the alternate option that is vape. In a research found that the vape is less harmful as comparison to cigarettes. Moreover, other side The Government give fines for the smokers who vapor in public space. In addition, Also Request to the building contractors to install the fog detector in each building and defined designated area for smokers. To put in a nutshell, I pen down and say that it is better to encourage everyone and aware not to most in public areas, instead of putting someone’s life in danger zone.
It is an irrefutable that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
a day, The trend of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
is increasing
rapidly
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
assert that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for health and it should not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to smog in public areas. In my opinion, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement and in this essay, I intend to support my views
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
conclusion can
be drawn
.

There are several reasons for this. The
first
and foremost is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is injurious to the health,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there is no doubt, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in-front of other folks is
also
having the same effects as active smokers. For an instance, According to the survey, 70 percent of The Cancer problems caused by the visible
Possible spelling mistake. 'vapours' is British English.
vapours
and 50 percent of the passive person have the same health issues such as breathing, stomach which
is found
in the active smokers.

On the contrary
side, To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
, The cigarette
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
introduce the alternate option
that is
vape. In
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
found that the vape is less harmful as comparison to cigarettes.
Moreover
, other side The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
give fines for the smokers who vapor in public space.
In addition
,
Also
Request to the building contractors to install the fog detector in each building and defined designated area for smokers.

To put in a nutshell, I pen down and say that it is better to encourage everyone and aware not to most in public areas,
instead
of putting someone’s life in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
zone.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries it is now illegal to smoke in public places. It is only fair that people who wish to smoke should have to leave the building. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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