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In many countries it is common for families to own and run their own business. Some people think this is the best way to run a business while others consider this a potential source of problems. What is your opinion? v.1

In many countries it is common for families to own and run their own business. Some people think this is the best way to run a business while others consider this a potential source of problems. What is your opinion? v. 1
Family owned businesses are quite common in some countries. While some people believe that they have higher chances of success others opine that they are more likely to run into trouble. In my opinion, family businesses have some inherent advantages. However, disagreements between family members can lead to the disintegration of such entities. The biggest advantage that family businesses have over other businesses is that in a family owned business, people are working for themselves. This itself is a great factor that contributes to the success of a business. People tend to work harder when they work for themselves. Also when someone works for a family owned business, they have the support and encouragement of their family members. In addition, children born in business families learn the tricks of the trade from their childhood itself from their parents and grandparents. This exposure gives them a head start when they start their career and enables them to run the business more efficiently. Also working with family members for the common benefit of the whole family can be both fun and rewarding. In short, a family owned business has many advantages that a regular establishment lacks. On the flip side, some of the advantages of a family run business can turn out to be disadvantages if the members of the family are not careful. For example, younger family members are more likely to be irresponsible and immature. If they regularly turn up late for work or take too many holidays, it can lead to disagreements. Also, when someone works under their father or sibling, they are more likely to show a lack of seriousness. Unfortunately, this will hurt the prospect of the entire business. In addition, disputes between family members and ego clashes will run a family owned business into trouble. To conclude, after analysing both sides of the argument it is not hard to see that family owned businesses have several advantages over other types of establishments. However, families that run their own business must ensure that disagreements between family members are resolved before they turn into a business crisis.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
are quite common in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that they have higher chances of success others opine that they are more likely to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
run
into trouble. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
inherent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
.
However
, disagreements between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
can lead to the disintegration of such entities.

The biggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantage
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
have over other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
is that in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are working for themselves. This itself is a great factor that contributes to the success of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
harder when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for themselves.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
when someone works for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
, they have the support and encouragement of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
.
In addition
, children born in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
learn the tricks of the trade from their childhood itself from their parents and grandparents. This exposure gives them a head
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their career and enables them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
run
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
more
efficiently
.
Also
working with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
for the common benefit of the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
can be both fun and rewarding. In short, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
that a regular establishment lacks.

On the flip side,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
run
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
can turn out to be disadvantages if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
are not careful.
For example
, younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
are more likely to be irresponsible and immature. If they
regularly
turn up late for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or take too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
holidays, it can lead to disagreements.
Also
, when someone works under their father or sibling, they are more likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
a lack of seriousness. Unfortunately, this will hurt the prospect of the entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
In addition
, disputes between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
and ego clashes will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
run
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
into trouble.

To conclude
, after
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
both sides of the argument it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
have several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
over other types of establishments.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
run
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
ensure that disagreements between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
are resolved
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they turn into a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
crisis.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
61Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay In many countries it is common for families to own and run their own business. Some people think this is the best way to run a business while others consider this a potential source of problems. What is your opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
349 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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