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In many countries in the world people buy clothes and choose hair styles according to latest fashion. Why is this happening? Is this a positive or a negative development? v.4

In many countries in the world people buy clothes and choose hair styles according to latest fashion. Why is this happening? Is this a positive or a negative development? v. 4
It is irrefutable that people follow the latest fashion and choose their clothes as well as hair styles according to the modern fashion, in many nations in the would. However, this essay will discuss about the causes of this trend in the first paragraph and according to me it is a negative development. There are some reasons why people follow the latest fashion nowadays. First and foremost reason is that the trend of latest apps. To put it simply, when famous actors upload their photographs on social media apps, then lots of people follow their role model and choose their clothes and hairstyles for them. For instance, In Punjab, tik-tok is a very popular app, many people choose their clothes according to them. All in all, this is the reason why people follow the latest trend. Moreover, In my perspective, it is a negative development because of some reasons. Firstly, many person purchases very expensive clothes due to the latest fashion, but in future they will face many problems related to finance. Secondly, some people are doing colour on their hairs, according to modern fashion, but some time due to use expire products they face many health problems. For these reasons, it is evidence that follow latest fashion is not good at all. To summarize, although people follow the latest fashion through social media apps, but they face many problems. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of follow new fashion by people is a negative development. After though analysis on this subject, it is predicted that people will face lots of problems because of this trend.
It is irrefutable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
and choose their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
as well
as hair styles
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
according
to the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations in the would.
However
, this essay will
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
causes of this trend in the
first
paragraph and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
according
to me it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
nowadays.
First
and foremost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that the trend of
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
apps. To put it
simply
, when
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
actors upload their photographs on social media apps, then lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
their role model and choose their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
and hairstyles for them.
For instance
, In Punjab,
Possible spelling mistake found.
tik-tok
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular app,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
according
to them. All in all, this is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
the latest trend.

Moreover
, In my perspective, it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
due to the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in future they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
related to finance.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are doing
Possible spelling mistake. 'colour' is British English.
colour
on their hairs,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
according
to modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time due to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
expire products they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. For these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
, it is evidence that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at all.

To summarize
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
through social media apps,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
Therefore
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development. After though analysis on this subject, it
is predicted
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
because of this
trend.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
45Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries in the world people buy clothes and choose hair styles according to latest fashion. Why is this happening? Is this a positive or a negative development? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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