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In many countries imprisonment is the most common solution to crimes. However, some people believe that better education will be a more effective solution. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

In many countries imprisonment is the most common solution to crimes. However, some people believe that better education will be a more effective solution. v. 2
In earlier times, male and female social roles were clearly distributed: a man was considered a getter and a woman was a keeper of a hearth, but recently under the influence of emancipation and economic factors the situation in society has changed dramatically. This essay will examine the advantages and disadvantages of working women and provide a logical conclusion. The two main advantages of working women are having a job with a good salary makes a woman independent and interesting events charge women’s life. Firstly, work guarantees independence from a husband. Unfortunately, no one will know that the spouse will never abandon or leave without a livelihood. Now there are many cases when after a divorce, housewives with children remain in poor housing conditions and cannot make ends meet. Secondly, modern statistics show that working women are much less likely to suffer from protracted depression than housewives. This is explained by the fact that work allows to be distracted from everyday problems, makes it possible for self-realization, strengthens the sense of self-worth. But working women also has a major disadvantage like chronic fatigue. More often women struggle to combine work and family responsibilities even to the detriment of their own relaxation and health. As a result, they have practically no free time left that could be devoted to the restoration of the expended forces. Selfless workers constantly feel tired and overwhelmed. And after some time, as a result of chronic overstrain of the body, they develop various minor ailments. To conclude, each medal has two sides. At first glance, the situation may seem like a dead end - a woman sacrificing her family for work, but in fact job allows women being independent and socially active.
In earlier times, male and female social roles were
clearly
distributed: a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
was considered
a getter and a woman was a keeper of a hearth,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
recently under the influence of emancipation and economic factors the situation in society has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
dramatically
. This essay will examine the advantages and disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
and provide a logical conclusion.

The two main advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are having a job with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
salary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a woman independent and interesting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
charge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women’s
life.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
guarantees independence from a husband. Unfortunately, no one will know that the spouse will never abandon or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
without a livelihood.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases when after a divorce, housewives with children remain in poor housing conditions and cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
ends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
.
Secondly
, modern statistics
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are much less likely to suffer from protracted depression than housewives. This is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
by the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
to
be distracted
from everyday problems,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it possible for self-realization, strengthens the sense of self-worth.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
also
has a major disadvantage like chronic fatigue. More
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
struggle to combine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and family responsibilities even to the detriment of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
relaxation and health.
As a result
, they have
practically
no free time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
that could
be devoted
to the restoration of the expended forces. Selfless workers
constantly
feel tired and overwhelmed. And after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time,
as a result
of chronic
Possible spelling mistake found.
overstrain
of the body, they develop various minor ailments.

To conclude
, each medal has two sides. At
first
glance, the situation may seem like a dead
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
a woman sacrificing her family for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in fact job
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
being independent and
socially
active.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS essay In many countries imprisonment is the most common solution to crimes. However, some people believe that better education will be a more effective solution. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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