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In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as very wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience important for learning and taking responsibilities. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.6

In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as very wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience important for learning and taking responsibilities. v. 6
It is believed by most people that paid employment among children is fast becoming popular. While some individuals completely disagree with this practice, others believe it is a platform for youngsters to acquire the necessary job experience which will help to enhance their ability to make right decisions. In my opinion, even though it might seem inappropriate to expose them to working at such age, I agree that it will help adolescents understand the principles of time and money management. On the one hand, exposing children at an early age to handling money can be disastrous for them. This is due to the fact that it attracts bad friends to them and because of their naive mind, they can easily succumb to peer pressure and such an income is recklessly spent. Therefore, when they resume back to school, the demand for stipend increases and the evil friends coarse them to engage in criminal activities in order to be financially buoyant. For instance, an inmate in a British juvenile prison was charged for theft as a result of his inability to live up to his desired standard of life which he lived when he was working during the summer holiday. Therefore, parents ought to gurd their wards and should rather enroll them in private coaching classes. On the other hand, encouraging young ones to work as an employee is good because it help them grow up quickly. In addition, they also understand time and money management early in life as these are basic tenets of life in adulthood. In essence, they are able to multi-task and also cultivate the habit of arriving work early so as to avoid any form of consequence. Moreover, prudency becomes a part of them as they begin to save their wages. However, in order to be consistent, guidance from their parents will be needed. For example, I became used to saving my income right from my teen years in a piggy bank my mom bought for me and today, my husband prefers me to manage his finances. In conclusion, despite the fact that engaging children in paid employment can appear to be precocious, as long as it does not affect their academics, it is a practice that will pay off in adulthood and should be promoted.
It
is believed
by most
people
that paid employment among children is
fast
becoming popular. While
some
individuals completely disagree with this practice, others believe it is a platform for youngsters to acquire the necessary job experience which will
help
to enhance their ability to
make
right decisions. In my opinion,
even though
it might seem inappropriate to expose them to working at such age, I
agree
that it will
help
adolescents understand the principles of time and money management.

On the one hand, exposing children at an early age to handling money can be disastrous for them.
This is due to the fact that
it attracts
bad
friends to them and
because
of their naive mind, they can
easily
succumb to peer pressure and such an income is
recklessly
spent.
Therefore
, when they resume back to school, the demand for stipend increases and the evil friends coarse them to engage in criminal activities in order to be
financially
buoyant.
For instance
, an inmate in a British juvenile prison
was charged
for theft
as a result
of his inability to
live
up to his desired standard of life which he
lived
when he was working during the summer holiday.
Therefore
, parents ought to
gurd
their wards and should
rather
enroll them in private coaching classes.

On the other hand
, encouraging young ones to work as an employee is
good
because
it
help
them grow up
quickly
.
In addition
, they
also
understand time and money management early in life as these are basic tenets of life in adulthood. In essence, they are able to multi-task and
also
cultivate the habit of arriving work early
so as to
avoid any form of consequence.
Moreover
,
prudency
becomes a part of them as they
begin
to save their wages.
However
, in order to be consistent, guidance from their parents will
be needed
.
For example
, I became
used
to saving my income right from my teen years in a piggy bank my mom
bought
for me and
today
, my husband prefers me to manage his finances.

In conclusion
, despite the fact that engaging children in paid employment can appear to be precocious, as long as it does not affect their academics, it is a practice that will pay off in adulthood and should
be promoted
.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as very wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience important for learning and taking responsibilities. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
380 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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