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Some people think that employers should not care about the way their employees dress, because what matters is the quality of their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Some people think that employers should not care about the way their employees dress, because what matters is the quality of their work. v. 2
In contemporary society, the dress code at work is not significant since it does not directly influence work productivity. Some argue that uniform is not less important for employees because of the quality of their work is the main matters. To a certain extent, I agree with this opinion, however, I also think that base on the work’s properties, the staff should choose an outfit suitable for this job. On the one hand, there is a good reason why a number of individuals think that wear is unnecessary. First of all, there are jobs that do not require dressing up because it does not yield any positive effect on work. Some technology companies like Google or Facebook are famous for their relaxed dress code. They aim to create an informal, fun and creative environment. Some jobs such as website designers, programmer, that always just sit at their working desk and look to the laptop screen and file paper all their working time, so they usually do not care about the dress that they wear. Secondly, these occupations do not involve meeting customer or partner, therefore, it should be made free for employees as what to wear a comfortable dress to work. On the other hand, numerous people hold the notion that staff should take dressing style into full consideration. These may work in the sectors that require workers to dress up smartly and professional upfront workers like receptionist, teacher, doctor, etc who meet others face-to-face wherein one’s attire may leave either good or bad impressions. In these situations, even though how you present yourself with your fashion preference may not directly affect how you carry out your responsibilities, it could affect social interaction which are important in such jobs. In conclusion, although one’s clothing preference or dress code at work does not directly productivity, its relevance is worth considering depending on the nature of work.
In contemporary society, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
code at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is not significant since it does not
directly
influence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
productivity.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argue that uniform is not less
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for employees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the quality of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is the main matters. To a certain extent, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion,
however
, I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that base on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work’s
properties, the staff should choose an outfit suitable for this job.

On the one hand, there is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reason why a number of individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that wear is unnecessary.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, there are jobs that do not require dressing up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it does not yield any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
like Google or Facebook are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
for their relaxed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
code. They aim to create an informal, fun and creative environment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
jobs such as website designers, programmer, that always
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
sit at their working desk and look to the laptop screen and file paper all their working time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
usually
do not care about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
that they wear.
Secondly
, these occupations do not involve meeting customer or partner,
therefore
, it should
be made
free for employees as what to wear a comfortable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
to work.

On the other hand
, numerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hold the notion that staff should take dressing style into full consideration. These may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in the sectors that require workers to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
up
smartly
and professional upfront workers like receptionist, teacher, doctor, etc who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
others face-to-face wherein one’s attire may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
either
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impressions. In these situations,
even though
how you present yourself with your fashion preference may not
directly
affect how you carry out your responsibilities, it could affect social interaction which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in such jobs.

In conclusion
, although one’s clothing preference or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
code at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
does not
directly
productivity, its relevance is worth considering depending on the nature of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that employers should not care about the way their employees dress, because what matters is the quality of their work. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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