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In many countries around the world young people decode to leave their parents home once they finish school. They start living in their personal homes or sharing homes with their friends. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

In many countries around the world young people decode to leave their parents home once they finish school. They start living in their personal homes or sharing homes with their friends. v. 2
Youngsters are the future of the every nation. Therefore, youngsters take a decision to start living alone for their upcoming studies. So this essay will analyse the some positive and negative views behind this trend along with my opinion in the upcoming paragraph. According to the first school of thoughts, there are myriad aspects which describes the positive trend behind the youngsters decision. first, these days students have a lot pressure about their education so it is better for the students to take a decision to live alone and start their best education without any kind of disturbance. Not only this, with this decision they get to know about their hidden abilities as well as they are becoming self-reliant. Further, when they are alone in their home so they are starting to know the value of their parents in their life so it can a best way to enhance the moral values in the youngsters. According to the second school of thoughts, living outside from the home is worst for the youngsters. The prime one is that, when students are living isolate so they are facing so many problems in their life but they can' t share their menace with their parents. Furthermore, these days living in the rent houses are becoming very expensive so it affects their budget as well. Moreover, crimes are very exaggerated in the urban areas so it is also the one of the biggest problem to living outside. In my opinion, living alone is the best decision by the youngsters because they are becoming self-dependent as well as living alone is the better way to pursuing higher studies. As they are living in the sharing homes with their friends so it can enrich their understanding ability and they know the value of the sharing and caring of the relationships. Overall, after a lot of thoughts and deliberation it is true to say that youngsters plays the crucial role in the progress of any country. So it is totally depend on students to take a decision whether it is better to live with parents or living alone.
Youngsters are the future of the every nation.
Therefore
, youngsters take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
for their upcoming studies.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
this essay will
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
the
Did you mean "same"?
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
views behind this trend along with my opinion in the upcoming paragraph.

According to the
first
school of thoughts, there are myriad aspects which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend behind the youngsters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
first
, these days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have
If you mean a great quantity, use "a lot of pressure"?
a lot pressure
about their education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is better for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their best education without any kind of disturbance. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
this, with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know about their hidden abilities
as well
as they are becoming self-reliant.
Further
, when they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
in their home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they are starting to know the value of their parents in their life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it can
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
best way to enhance the moral values in the youngsters.

According to the second school of thoughts,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
outside from the home is worst for the youngsters. The prime one is that, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
isolate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they are facing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems in their life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
Possible spelling mistake found.
can&
#039; t share their menace with their parents.
Furthermore
, these days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the rent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
are becoming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it affects their budget
as well
.
Moreover
, crimes are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
exaggerated in the urban areas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is
also
the one of the biggest problem to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
outside.

In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
is the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
by the youngsters
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are becoming self-dependent
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
is the better way to pursuing higher studies. As they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the sharing homes with their friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it can enrich their understanding
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
ability and
they know the value of the sharing and caring of the relationships.

Overall
, after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
thoughts and deliberation it is true to say that youngsters plays the crucial role in the progress of any country.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it is
totally
Consider using a past participle here: "depended".
depend
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
whether it is better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with parents or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries around the world young people decode to leave their parents home once they finish school. They start living in their personal homes or sharing homes with their friends. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
351 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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