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A crime related news are detailed covered in newspaper and telivision. Some people say that there should be government interception. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

A crime related news are detailed covered in newspaper and telivision. Some people say that there should be government interception. v. 2
In this present era, there is electronic media and print media which provides the exclusive news to the public. So therefore, a group of people considered that authorities should check the every types of news and other contradicts this view by saying that government should give the liberty to the media. So this essay shall analyse both the above mention aspects along with my opinion in the upcoming paragraph. According to the first school of thoughts, there are various points which describes that government should holdover the media. Firstly, media telecast the news on television for the public sometimes these news are exaggreted by the media to just gain the popularity so these types of news are far away from the reality. Not only this, there are some secrets of the countries are also openly telecast on the television as well as by the newspapers which is highly affect the incognito secrets of the nations. Further, criminals are learning the many ways to commit the clueless crime by these news and they become alert about it. According to the second school of thoughts, media is the essential part of the society because it helps the public by providing the news so people get to know about each and everything about their local area as well global news. Furthermore, with the help of the media victims get the support of the public so government has to take a harsh action against the criminal, so this action can control the criminal activities among the society. In my opinion, media is the best way to get a news but it is the prime responsibility of the any type of media to give the factual news but the government interception is also mandatory to control the any fake news. Overall, after a lots of thoughts and deliberation it is true to say that government should take some harsh action against the counterfeit news and media should have to telecast only the real news among the society.
In this present era, there is electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and print
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
which provides the exclusive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
therefore
, a group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
considered that authorities should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
the every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "type"?
types
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
and other contradicts this view by saying that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should give the liberty to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
this essay shall
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
both the above mention aspects along with my opinion in the upcoming paragraph.

According to the
first
school of thoughts, there are various points which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should holdover the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
telecast the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
on television for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
exaggreted
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
gain the popularity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
these types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
are far away from the reality. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
this, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
secrets of the countries are
also
openly
telecast on the television
as well
as by the newspapers which is
highly
Consider using a past participle here: "affected".
affect
the incognito secrets of the nations.
Further
, criminals are learning the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways to commit the clueless crime by these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
and they become alert about it.

According to the second school of thoughts,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is the essential part of the society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
by providing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know about each and everything about their local area
as well
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
.
Furthermore
, with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
victims
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the support of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
take a harsh action against the criminal,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
this action can control the criminal activities among the society.

In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is the best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is the prime responsibility of the any type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
to give the factual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
interception is
also
mandatory to control the any fake news.

Overall
, after
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a lot" or simply "lots"?
a lots
of thoughts and deliberation it is true to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
harsh action against the counterfeit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
telecast
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
among the society.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay A crime related news are detailed covered in newspaper and telivision. Some people say that there should be government interception. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
332 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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