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In many countries, a small number of people are able to purchase very expensive luxurious products. Some people believe that this is good for the economy, but others think that governments should not allow products above a certain price level. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.2

In many countries, a small number of people are able to purchase very expensive luxurious products. Some people believe that this is good for the economy, but others think that governments should not allow products above a certain price level. v. 2
Nowadays, the market of luxury goods is experiencing a growth all over the world. Some people are of the opinion that this issue has a positive bearing on the economy, while others opine that governments should stop the pricing on products above a certain level. Although I agree with the former statement, both arguments will be discussed in this essay in order to reach a conclusion. Some people claim that luxurious commodities have illusory prices. There are some arguments concerning this issue. To begin with, they believe that spending money for purchasing these products is a waste of money and results in an uneven development in terms of representing people’s positions in societies. A regional disparity in fact breeds negative influences such as increasing corruption in societies. These expensive luxurious goods furthermore lead to increase the price of other similar products that are produced by unknown companies. To clarify, the decision of buying a luxurious commodity is based on prestige and uniqueness, not on technical and functional factors and it means that other producing firms will take an action to boost the prices of their products from reaching a fake prestige in the market. On the other hand, it seems to me that luxurious products have a positive effect on the economy. It primarily encourages people to make hard efforts to acquire more revenue for obtaining these types of products. Indeed, it is beneficial for getting their own sense of self-worth. It moreover helps some businesses which only sell this kind of goods. The Rolex as a watch producer is, for instance based on luxurious watches, which has created jobs for myriads of people around the world. In conclusion, although in some circumstances, the extravagantly unique goods affect on an uneven wealth distribution, nevertheless, to my way of thinking, it helps a society for having a dynamic economy.
Nowadays, the market of luxury
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
is experiencing a growth all over the world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are of the opinion that this issue has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
bearing on the economy, while others opine that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the pricing on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
above a certain level. Although I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the former statement, both arguments will
be discussed
in this essay in order to reach a conclusion.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
luxurious
commodities have illusory prices. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
arguments concerning this issue. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, they believe that spending money for purchasing these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
is a waste of money and results in an uneven development in terms of representing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
positions in societies. A regional disparity in fact breeds
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influences such as increasing corruption in societies. These expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
luxurious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
furthermore
lead to increase the price of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that
are produced
by unknown
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. To clarify, the decision of buying a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
luxurious
commodity
is based
on prestige and uniqueness, not on technical and functional factors and it means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
producing firms will take an action to boost the prices of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
from reaching a fake prestige in the market.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, it seems to me that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
luxurious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on the economy. It
primarily
encourages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
efforts to acquire more revenue for obtaining these types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
Indeed
, it is beneficial for getting their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
sense of self-worth. It
moreover
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
businesses which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
sell this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
. The Rolex as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
producer is,
for instance
based on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
luxurious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watches
, which has created jobs for myriads of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the world.

In conclusion
, although in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
circumstances, the
extravagantly
unique
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
on an uneven wealth distribution,
nevertheless
, to my way of thinking, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
a society for having a dynamic economy.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay In many countries, a small number of people are able to purchase very expensive luxurious products. Some people believe that this is good for the economy, but others think that governments should not allow products above a certain price level. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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