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in many cities the pollution is increasing. some says that the urbanisation process denies us knowing our neighbours and this causes a loss of community sense. what is the main problem with this what measure can be taken v.2

in many cities the pollution is increasing. some says that the urbanisation process denies us knowing our neighbours and this causes a loss of community sense. what is the main problem with this what measure can be taken v. 2
It is irrefutable that nowadays, people are increasing day to day life in this modern generation. they are not getting a chance to spend time with their family members and they don' t even talk with their neighbours. In this essay, we will discuss that what are the problems in this generation people are getting in to it and how we can avoid this situation in future. Firstly, all the persons are moving to urban cities in order to get good jobs. They are getting affect in to the city life and they forcely put in to do the modern culture in that case they are enjoy their life in the urban cities. Even though some of them are coming to cities due to family problem and loan problem due to that their main focus to earn money and they are not spending times with neighbours. For intances, In one of the biggest city in India, that affected in to natural disasster so that moment only people knows whoever staying next to them and they helped everyone. In addition to this, there are pleathora of apartment in all the cities and childrens are not getting a plan that where where they can play because of that entire family members are always there in their apatment and even they will not go outside. in this scenario, children will face lot of problems like obesity. For example, my colleque who is staying in city and both are working in IT. they generally comes at 8pm in the evening and his children comes from school at 4pm after that he plays only computer games with out spend time with their friends. Finally, he faced lot of health issues. To summarize this, government has to responsible to create awareness about the city life cluture and hoe to invest time with their family members and neighbours. people also has to understand that money only not enough for our life our need always good friends, good health and good circumstance so that we can grow up with out any issues.
It is irrefutable that nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are increasing day to day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in this modern generation.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
are not getting a chance to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
members and
they
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t even talk with their
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
. In this essay, we will discuss that what are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in this generation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are getting in to it and how we can avoid this situation
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.

Firstly
, all the persons are moving to urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
jobs. They are getting
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
in to the city
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
they
Possible spelling mistake found.
forcely
put in to do the modern culture
in that case
they are
Consider using a past participle here: "enjoyed".
enjoy
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in the urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
Even though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them are coming to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
and loan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
due to that their main focus to earn
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
money and
they are not spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
with
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
. For
Possible spelling mistake found.
intances
, In one of the biggest city in India, that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
in to natural
Possible spelling mistake found.
disasster
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that moment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
knows
whoever staying
next
to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
them and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
everyone.

In addition
to this, there are
Possible spelling mistake found.
pleathora
of apartment in all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
are not getting a plan that
Possible typo: you repeated a word
where where
they can play
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members are always there in their
Possible spelling mistake found.
apatment
and even they will not go outside.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
this scenario, children will face
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
like obesity.
For example
, my
Possible spelling mistake found.
colleque
who is staying in city and both are working in IT. they
generally
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "come"
comes
at 8pm in the evening and his children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from school at 4pm after that he plays
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
computer games
This word is usually written together. Did you mean "without"?
with out
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their friends.
Finally
, he faced
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
health issues.

To summarize
this,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
responsible to create awareness about the city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
Possible spelling mistake found.
cluture
and hoe to invest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members and
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
people
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
understand that money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
our need always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
friends,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
health and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
circumstance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that we can grow up
This word is usually written together. Did you mean "without"?
with out
any issues.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay in many cities the pollution is increasing. some says that the urbanisation process denies us knowing our neighbours and this causes a loss of community sense. what is the main problem with this what measure can be taken v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
344 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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