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In many cities, people are living alone What are the reasons for it? Is this a positive or negative development? v.1

In many cities, people are living alone What are the reasons for it? Is this a positive or negative development? v. 1
Nowadays, people in the metro areas, are living alone instead of staying with their family. I think this is because of their vision to be independent and to create their self-identity as well as for their personal development. In my opinion, it is negative, which I will explain in my essay. The world is moving faster and all we are trying hard to keep the pace to reach the mark and shine. That is the reason why, people are getting changed day by day, living independently to promote their personal development. Perhaps, they are benefitted individually in the short run, but in the long run, their lifestyle and further development are affected. Generally, it hampers the balance between social and personal life of a person which leads to mental depression and as a consequence, people are more suicide prone from the urban areas compared to the suburbs to rural areas. Survey on different metropolitan cities around the world demonstrates the evidence that, number of suicidal cases are rising to several folds each year, especially, in the developed countries. Moreover, population of developed countries is gradually degrading, which is a big hinder for their countries progress and prosperity. In conclusion, development is always appreciated either as a person or a country as a whole. Yet from the human conscience, people must consider the public interest over their personal interest in order to maintain a proper balance between personal and social life.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the metro areas, are living alone
instead
of staying with their family. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their vision to be independent and to create their self-identity
as well
as for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
. In my opinion, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
, which I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
in my essay.

The world is moving faster and all we are trying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the pace to reach the mark and shine.
That is
the reason why,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are getting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
day by day, living
independently
to promote their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
. Perhaps, they are
Possible spelling mistake found.
benefitted
individually
in the short run,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in the long run, their lifestyle and
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
.

Generally
, it hampers the balance between social and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
life of a person which leads to mental depression and as a consequence,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more suicide prone from the urban areas compared to the suburbs to rural areas. Survey on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
metropolitan cities around the world demonstrates the evidence that, number of suicidal cases are rising to several folds each year,
especially
, in the developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Moreover
, population of developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is
gradually
degrading, which is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
hinder for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
progress and prosperity.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
is always appreciated either as a person or a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
as a whole.
Yet
from the human conscience,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
consider the public interest over their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
interest in order to maintain a proper balance between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
and social life.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay In many cities, people are living alone What are the reasons for it? Is this a positive or negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
240 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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