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In many cities, people are living alone. Why is this the case? Is this a positive or negative development? v.1

In many cities, people are living alone. Why is this the case? Is this a positive or negative development? v. 1
----------------------------------------------------- It is true that many people are spending their life alone. There are many reasons why they choose the solitary lifestyle, and in my opinion, there are both positive and negative effects. There are two most important reasons why people choose to live alone. The first reason is freedom. Those who want to live alone have an idea of living by themselves and experiencing daily challenges. Tackling those problems allow them to become independent as an individual and will help them to grow mentally and psychologically strong. The other reason which leads to a lonely life is the focus. Many people who have a goal which needs a complete dedication choose to live single to focus on their target. My cousin sister, for instance, who wanted to become a musician lived alone away from family to pursue her career in music. On the one hand, these developments can be extremely positive. One can learn from mistakes and develop confidence and never again be worried if the same challenge will come in the future. The experience will help to tackle the troublesome situation more confidently. On the other hand, isolation from the social group can sometimes lead to stress and anxiety. In many cases, people who are living alone have found suffering from mental health issues. It is also true that a lonely life might be annoying and the alone person sometimes died early due to boredom. In conclusion, people who live alone for different reasons might not always found the single life as a good outcome.
-----------------------------------------------------

It is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are spending their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why they choose the solitary lifestyle, and in my opinion, there are both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects.

There are two most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
. The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is freedom. Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
have an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of living by themselves and experiencing daily challenges. Tackling those problems
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to become independent as an individual and will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to grow mentally and
psychologically
strong. The other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
which leads to a lonely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is the focus.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have a goal which needs a complete dedication choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
single to focus on their target. My cousin sister,
for instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
wanted to become a musician
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
away from family to pursue her career in music.

On the one hand, these developments can be
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
. One can learn from mistakes and develop confidence and never again
be worried
if the same challenge will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
in the future. The experience will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to tackle the troublesome situation more
confidently
.
On the other hand
, isolation from the social group can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
lead to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and anxiety. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
have found suffering from mental health issues. It is
also
true that a lonely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
might be annoying and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
early due to boredom.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
might not always found the single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
outcome.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay In many cities, people are living alone. Why is this the case? Is this a positive or negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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