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Hosting international sporting competitions is good, but few people think this causes too many problems. Explain both views and tell your opinion. v.1

Hosting international sporting competitions is good, but few people think this causes too many problems. Explain both views and tell your opinion. v. 1
It is commonly believed by most that conducting an international sporting event can cause several problems to the local community while some people argue that the benefits that local people receive from that event in terms of economic are far more than the difficulties. This essay will demonstrate both viewpoints and highlight my opinion for this argument. On one hand, the international sporting event can cause a serious environmental problem such as traffic jam and air pollution in local community due to a large number of participants who join the event. For instance, during the Olympic game in China, it had been reported that the amount of air pollution put young and elderly people to higher risk of lung cancer. In addition, littering that had been produced during the event also cause the local government to spend a large amount of money to destroy and burn those garbage, which results in a large amount of carbon dioxide in the air. On the other hand, tourism and hotel industry as well as local merchants in the country that hosting the sporting competition, also earn high revenue according to international tourists who travel to join the event. For example, the Asean games, which has been conducted in Thailand in 2012, brought more than ten millions of tourists to Bangkok, where the event has been placed. This result in large money flow to domestic economy due to the increasing number of tourists from other countries, namely China, Indonesia and Malaysia to the country. In my view, the international sporting event help boost economy in the country. In the other words, when the economy in the country is strong, people will have a higher quality of life due to higher income per capita. Once the problem of quality of life has been resolved, the government can focus on environmental issues. Therefore, the advantages has been outweighed the environmental issue that it causes to community. In conclusion, establishing the international sporting event may create a lot of environmental problem to the local community; however, the benefits that people will receive from such event is far more than the cons.
It is
commonly
believed by most that conducting an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
community while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that the benefits that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
receive from that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
in terms of economic are far more than the difficulties. This essay will demonstrate both viewpoints and highlight my opinion for this argument.

On one hand, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
a serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
such as traffic jam and air pollution in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
community due to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
number of participants who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
.
For instance
, during the Olympic game in China, it had
been reported
that the amount of air pollution put young and elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to higher
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of lung cancer.
In addition
, littering that had
been produced
during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to spend a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
amount of money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
and burn
Did you mean "this garbage" or "those garbages"?
those garbage
, which results in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
amount of carbon dioxide in the air.

On the other hand
, tourism and hotel industry
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
merchants in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
that hosting the sporting competition,
also
earn high revenue according to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
tourists who travel to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
.
For example
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Asean
games, which has
been conducted
in Thailand in 2012, brought more than
Use a singular form of the numeral here: "ten million".
ten millions of
tourists to Bangkok, where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
has
been placed
. This result in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
money flow to domestic economy due to the increasing number of tourists from other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
namely
China, Indonesia and Malaysia to the country.

In my view, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
boost economy in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. In the other words, when the economy in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is strong,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will have a higher quality of life due to higher income per capita. Once the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of quality of life has
been resolved
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
issues.
Therefore
, the advantages has
been outweighed
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
issue that it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
to community.

In conclusion
, establishing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
may create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
community;
however
, the benefits that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will receive from such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
is far more than the cons.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
46Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Hosting international sporting competitions is good, but few people think this causes too many problems. Explain both views and tell your opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
354 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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