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In general, people do not have such a close relationship with their neighbours as they did in the past. Why is this so and what can be done to improve contact between neighbours? v.1

In general, people do not have such a close relationship with their neighbours as they did in the past. Why is this so and what can be done to improve contact between neighbours? v. 1
The present age is fast paced and marked with the advancement of science and technology. As a result, we are turning into machines than human and that is resulting in a limited relationship even with the next door neighbours. Now, the relationship among neighbours is dismal than the past. This essay delves into the reasons for this distant relationship among neighbours and some ways to improve it. First of all, people, these days, lack their leisure hours. They are unable to arrange times for socialising. In fact, they are to follow the strict routines, execute respective occupational duties, and if someone fails, survival turns challenging for them. So, people cannot manage extra hours to spent with neighbours. As a result relationship among people declines. On contrary, often people do lack the sense of consideration. They seem to have less care for others. For instance, I have a neighbour in my next flat who is a singer and work at a local band. So, when he starts practising in the middle of the night, it is really irritating for me. I have notified the issue several times to him but that was of no use. So, I decided not to socialise with him anymore as his irrational behave developed an unpleasant feeling inside me about him. The similar scenarios are found randomly that is resulting in relationship decline. Actually, there are no specific ways to improve the relationship with neighbours. I believe the application of common sense is enough towards a healthy relationship with neighbours. The most important matter about this – each of the people should be aware of their rights and responsibilities, and limitations. For instance, I am not responsible for caring for my neighbour’s dog on my lawn or home. Similarly, the neighbours should also be aware of such issues so that any of their attitudes or activities cause trouble for others. when everyone will be aware of the issue, I think the relationship will come to a pleasant level.
The present age is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
paced and marked with the advancement of science and technology.
As a result
, we are turning into machines than human and
that is
resulting in a limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
even with the
next
door
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
among
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
is
Use "dismaler", "dismaller" to make a comparison with this adjective.
dismal
than the past. This essay delves into the reasons for this distant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
among
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
it.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, these days, lack their leisure hours. They are unable to arrange times for
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialising' is British English.
socialising
. In fact, they are to follow the strict routines, execute respective occupational duties, and if someone fails, survival turns challenging for them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot manage extra hours to spent with
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
a result
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
declines
.

On contrary,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do lack the sense of consideration. They seem to have less care for others.
For instance
, I have a
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbour' is British English.
neighbour
in my
next
flat who is a singer and work at a local band.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, when he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
Possible spelling mistake. 'practising' is British English.
practising
in the middle of the night, it is
really
irritating for me. I have notified the issue several times to him
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
that was of no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I decided not to
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialise' is British English.
socialise
with him anymore as his irrational behave developed an unpleasant feeling inside me about him. The similar scenarios
are found
randomly
that is
resulting in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
decline.

Actually, there are no specific ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
with
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
. I believe the application of common sense is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
towards a healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
with
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
. The most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
matter about this
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
each of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be aware of their rights and responsibilities, and limitations.
For instance
, I am not responsible for caring for my
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbour' is British English.
neighbour
’s dog on my lawn or home.
Similarly
, the
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
should
also
be aware of such issues
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that any of their attitudes or activities cause trouble for others.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
when
everyone will be aware of the issue, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to a pleasant level.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay In general, people do not have such a close relationship with their neighbours as they did in the past. Why is this so and what can be done to improve contact between neighbours? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
332 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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