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In recent years, there has been growing interest in the relationship between equality and personal achievement. Some people believe that individuals can achieve more in egalitarian societies. Others believe that high levels of personal achievement are possible only if individuals are free to succeeds or fail according to their individual merits. What is your view of the relationship between equality and personal success? v.2

In recent years, there has been growing interest in the relationship between equality and personal achievement. Some people believe that individuals can achieve more in egalitarian societies. Others believe that high levels of personal achievement are possible only if individuals are free to succeeds or fail according to their individual merits. What is your view of the relationship between equality and personal success? v. 2
In this developing era, many people believe that living in an egalitarian society makes them more successful. However, others consider that individuals’ achievements depend on their own merits. In my opinion, I completely agree with the notion about equality society, and certain reasons will be given in this essay. The first thing is that egalitarian societies provide students with the same educational environment and opportunities. Therefore, all children from different countries in the world are able to broaden their knowledge through free schooling, and those attempting to access higher education may have a chance to study at university with scholarships or affordable fees. Indeed, these have happened in many places, particularly the remote areas, and enable the less-affluent but talent ones to continue pursuing their dreams. Moreover, the nation with equality minimizes the gap between the wealthy youngsters and others since the rich has approached much better education opportunities and are ready for a good job. If others have the same condition, there will be more achievements in the future. Another thing is that the community In conclusion, there is a positive relationship between equality and personal success as people may achieve more when live in this kind of society.
In this developing era,
many
people
believe that living in an egalitarian
society
makes
them more successful.
However
, others consider that individuals’ achievements depend on their
own
merits. In my opinion, I completely
agree
with the notion about equality
society
, and certain reasons will be
given
in this essay.

The
first
thing is that egalitarian
societies
provide students with the same educational environment and opportunities.
Therefore
, all children from
different
countries in the world are able to broaden their knowledge through free schooling, and those attempting to access higher education may have a chance to study at university with scholarships or affordable fees.
Indeed
, these have happened in
many
places,
particularly
the remote areas, and enable the less-affluent
but
talent ones to continue pursuing their dreams.
Moreover
, the nation with equality minimizes the gap between the wealthy youngsters
and others
since the rich has approached much better education opportunities and are ready for a
good
job. If others have the same condition, there will be more achievements in the future.

Another thing is that the community

In conclusion
, there is a
positive
relationship between equality and personal success as
people
may achieve more when
live
in this kind of
society
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay In recent years, there has been growing interest in the relationship between equality and personal achievement. Some people believe that individuals can achieve more in egalitarian societies. Others believe that high levels of personal achievement are possible only if individuals are free to succeeds or fail according to their individual merits. What is your view of the relationship between equality and personal success? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
200 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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