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In general, people are living longer now. Discuss the causes of this phenomenon. Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay. v.2

In general, people are living longer now. Discuss the causes of this phenomenon. Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay. v. 2
Nowadays, the Internet plays a key role in our daily life. Most of us might think it helps to connect and stay in touch with people all around the world, but it also might be the reason for people not socializing. Let us see how the internet helps us to stay connected with one another, and also we will see its drawbacks in our regular life. By using the internet, we can connect with friends and family without meeting physically. For example, if I am living in other states, then I can't meet my friends and relatives frequently like as I stay in native place. So, the internet helps us to talk, chat, and even see them whenever we want. It really eases our mind. Now, we can see there are so many applications like Facebook, Whatsapp, and Skype. Those helps to reconnect our old friends too. Finally, it has its own side effects like addiction, which makes us to not move from the computer. Due to this, we spend most of the time on the computer and will not show any interest on other activities like sports, spending time with family and also friends which will be a great impact on our social life. I mostly agree with the above statement that it helps us to stay connected with people all around the world and I partially agree that it makes us to not socialize. However, if we use it with limits, we can be great at connecting people all around the world and also we can have time with our surrounding people.
Nowadays, the Internet plays a key role in our daily life. Most of us might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to connect and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
in touch with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
all around the world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
might be the reason for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
not socializing.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
how the internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
us to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
connected with one another, and
also
we will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
its drawbacks in our regular life.

By using the internet, we can connect with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and family without meeting
physically
.
For example
, if I am living in other states, then I can't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and relatives
frequently
like as I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
in native place.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
us to talk, chat, and even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
them whenever we want. It
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
eases
our mind.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
applications like Facebook,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Whatsapp
, and Skype. Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to reconnect our
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
too.

Finally
, it has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
side effects like addiction, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
from the computer. Due to this, we spend most of the time on the computer and will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
any interest on other activities like sports, spending time with family and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
which will be a great impact on our social life.

I
mostly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the above statement that it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
us to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
connected with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
all around the world and I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us to not socialize.
However
, if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it with limits, we can be great at connecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
all around the world and
also
we can have time with our surrounding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
To learn a language is to have one more window from which to look at the world.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay In general, people are living longer now. Discuss the causes of this phenomenon. Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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