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In education and employment some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it always a good thing to work hard? v.6

It is often seen some individuals are very laborious towards their studies and at work place as compared to others. Various attributes are there for performing hardship by an individual and to compete in the race of these fast forwarded generations. I strongly believed with the statement and described the reasons in the following paragraphs. Human rely on hard work since ancient times. Deliberate people usually do hard work. This is because those who planned their schedule according to time frame will be able to achieve their vision more successfully. As a consequence, we always observed the entrepreneurs, bureaucrats; sincere students are industrious towards their work which helps them to be a successful & renowned human being within the society. Addition to that, there is a huge demand in the market for diligent people. Due to this industrious personality employers are ready to hire them at any cost then therefore; they believe that they multiply the growth as well as profit of the company in the long run. As a result, humans are treated as important assets who are able to nurture the success and broaden the horizons of an organization. Good things always depend on the efforts of humans. Likewise, hardworking people tend to be more passionate. The zeal to excel in personal and professional life make them more efficient with the experience gained over the period of time hence they can dwell in any situation and make their own way to come up with. Owing to that, they are very motivated towards their life and will be able to earn higher social status. Secondly, industrious people can bring a better standard of living. Often a person works hard to bring enormous benefits to enhance their family lifestyle and counted as a role model for the family. For instance, we have seen different reality shows on television through which the person can get fame, wealth, appreciation for putting restless nights to reach the point. In conclusion, hardworking people tend to be successful and thus lead to creating a high demanded in an organization. They are self motivated and make their own way which helps them to be a distinctive personality in a community.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
laborious towards their studies and at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
place as compared to others. Various attributes are there for performing hardship by an individual and to compete in the race of these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
forwarded generations. I
strongly
believed with the statement and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
the reasons in the following paragraphs.

Human rely on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
since ancient times. Deliberate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
usually
do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
those who planned their schedule according to time frame will be able to achieve their vision more
successfully
. As a consequence, we always observed the entrepreneurs, bureaucrats; sincere students are industrious towards their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to be a successful & renowned human being within the society. Addition to that, there is a huge demand in the market for diligent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Due to this industrious personality employers are ready to hire them at any cost then
therefore
; they believe that they multiply the growth
as well
as profit of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
in the long run.
As a result
, humans
are treated
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
assets who are able to nurture the success and broaden the horizons of an organization.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Good
things always depend on the efforts of humans.
Likewise
, hardworking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to be more passionate. The zeal to excel in personal and professional life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them more efficient with the experience gained over the period of time
hence
they can dwell in any situation and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with. Owing to that, they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
motivated towards their life and will be able to earn higher social status.
Secondly
, industrious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can bring a better standard of living.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Often
a person works
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to bring enormous benefits to enhance their family lifestyle and counted as a role model for the family.
For instance
, we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
reality
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
on television through which the person can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
fame, wealth, appreciation for putting restless nights to reach the point.

In conclusion
, hardworking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to be successful and
thus
lead to creating a high demanded in an organization. They are
This word is normally spelled with a hyphen.
self motivated
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
way which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to be a distinctive personality in a community.

IELTS essay In education and employment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it always a good thing to work hard?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
364 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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